old doddering
Brother Ibbetson. Finding Ibbetson in the porter's gateway, with
charge of a lucrative-looking tourist and in search of the key of the
Relique Room, he noted that the key, usually handed out by Porter
Manby, hung on a hook just within the doorway; but old Ibbetson,
being purblind, could not see it, or at all events could not
recognise it, and Manby happened to be away at the brewhouse on some
errand connected with the Wayfarers' Dole. Brother Clerihew, who had
left him there, sent Ibbetson off on a chase in the wrong direction,
loitered around for a couple of minutes chatting about the weather,
and then, with a remark that it was shameful to keep gentlefolks
waiting so, looked casually in at the doorway.

"Why the key is here all the time!" he exclaimed. "If you are in any
hurry, sir, permit me to take brother Ibbetson's place, and show you
round. Oh," he added falsely, seeing the visitor hesitate, "it won't
hurt _him_ at all! I don't like to mention it, but any small
gratuities bestowed on the Brethren are carried to a common fund."

Ibbetson, harking back from a vain search to find his bird had flown,
encountered Porter Manby returning with Brother Warboise from the
brew-house, and tremulously opened up his distress.

"Eh?" snapped Warboise, after exchanging glances with the Porter.
"Clerihew said Manby was in the kitchen, did he? But he'd left us at
the brewhouse not a minute before."

"And the key! gone from the hook!" chimed in Porter Manby, "where
I'll swear I left it. This is one of Clerihew's monkeyings, you
bet."

"I'll monkey him," growled Brother Warboise.

The three kept sentry, knowing that Clerihew must sooner or later
return with his convoy, there being no other exit. When at length he
hove in sight with his convoy his face wore an uneasy, impudent
smile. He was the richer by half a crown. They stood aside and let
him brazen it past them; but Manby and Ibbetson were still waiting
for him as he came back alone. Ibbetson was content with a look of
reproach. Manby told him fair and straight that he was a swindling
cur. But meanwhile Warboise had stumped off and told Ibbetson's
wife. This done, he hurried off, and catching Clerihew by the steps
of the Hundred Men's Hall, threatened the rogue with his staff.
Manby caught them in altercation, the one aiming impotent blows, the
other evading them still with his shameless grin, and separated them.
Brother Ibbetson looked on, f