I was
about to make a further and more determined effort to get away when a
maid-servant approached with a card.

Mrs. Brock took it and read the name with a little cry of
satisfaction. "Lord Risborough," she said to me. "At last! How nice
of him to call. They live at Risborough Park, you know. I always said
they would never condescend to dignify 'Sheltered End' with their
presence; but I somehow knew they would." She purred a little. And
then, "Where is his lordship?" she asked; but the girl's reply was
rendered unnecessary by the nobleman himself, who advanced briskly
upon Mrs. Brock, hat in hand.

"I trust," he said, "that you will pardon the informality of this
visit. Lady Risborough is so sorry not to have been able to call yet,
but--but--Yes, I was wondering if you'd be so very kind as to do me
a little favour? The fact is, our telephone is out of order--most
annoying--and I wondered if you would let me use yours. I hear that
you have one."

"I will take you to it," said Mrs. Brock.

"Most kind, most kind!" his lordship was muttering.

There was no difficulty in making my escape now.

E. V. L.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I DO HOPE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO COME TO THE MOTHERS'
WELFARE MEETING ON WEDNESDAY. WE'VE PERSUADED A FAMOUS CHEF TO COME
AND GIVE US A LECTURE ON 'THE DECAY OF COOKERY.' IT SHOULD BE MOST
HELPFUL."

"NOT TO ME, MUM. I ALLUS GIVES MINE TO THE PIGS WHEN IT GETS THAT
FAR."]

* * * * *

Mr. Punch desires to express his sincere regret for an injustice done,
though without malice, to the Publishers (Messrs. SWEET AND MAXWELL)
and the Editor of _Williams' Real Property_, in an article that
appeared in the issue of August 18th, under the title, "Blewitt on
Real Property." The new edition of _Williams' Real Property_ contains
a large amount of fresh material and represents considerable labour
spent over the careful revision of the previous edition.

* * * * *

"At 1 a.m., uninterrupted rifle fire and bomb explosions
were audible. It is reported that a French officer was then
addressing the crowd." _Times of Malaya_.

Our old sergeant-major must look to his laurels.

* * * * *

THE PEERLESS PROVINCIAL.

[A London paper learns from a West End tailor that many people
in the North and Midlands now achieve a higher standard of
dress than the "ma