Trent are the two nicest people on
earth, and the two I love best. But I don't think they know all the time
what they are doing and saying. They are that in love they don't see but
one side--the happy side--and they think I am going to leave this place
with a skip and a jump and run along by them, third person, single
number, and not know I'm in the way.

They won't even listen when I tell them I don't know what I'm going to
do. I know what I want to do! Everything in me gets into shivering
trembleness when I think I could go to Europe with them on their wedding
trip. Think of it! Mary Cary could go to E-U-R-O-P-E!

They've invited me and say I'm to go, because I'm never to leave them
any more, and they want me. But it isn't so. Mary tries to believe it's
so, but Martha knows it isn't. They think they think they want me, but
they don't; nobody wants an outsider on a wedding tour, and I'm not
going. I can't help it. Come on, tears! Even angels sometimes cry aloud;
and, not being a step-relation to one, I'm going to let Mary cry if she
wants to. Sometimes Martha is real hard on Mary.

There is no use studying Human Nature. You can't study a thing that
changes by day and by night, and is so uncertain you never know what it
is going to do. Now, here is Mary Cary, mostly Martha, who would rather
get on a train or a boat and go somewhere--she don't care where--than to
do any other thing on earth. Who has never seen anything and wants to
see everything, and who, if anyone had told her a year ago she could go
to New York, and then to Europe, would have slid down every flight of
stairs head foremost from pure joy. And now she has the chance, she is
not going. She is Not.

She hasn't much sense, Mary Cary hasn't, but enough to know wedding
trips are personal, and, besides, the girls have turned into regular
weepers. Every time anything is said about going away their eyes water
up, and Martha feels like a yellow dog with no tail. I know they hate
Miss Katherine's going; but why do they cry about my going? Lord, this
is a strange place to live in, this world is! I wonder what heaven will
be like?

Miss Bray is much better. She says Uncle Parke has cured her. I don't
believe it. I believe it was Relief of the Mind.

* * * * *

I wasn't meant to be a sad person. I was silly sad the other day; but
I've found out when anything bothers you very much, it helps to take it
out and look at it. Walk al