tle
tables on deck are occupied by English, American, and German
tourists, drinking various liquids, from hock to Pilsener
beer, and eating veal-cutlets. Mr. CYRUS K. TROTTER is on
the lower deck, discussing the comparative merits of the New
York hotels with a fellow countryman. Miss MAUD S. TROTTER
is seated on the after-deck in close conversation with
CULCHARD. PODBURY _is perched on a camp-stool in the forward
part. Near him a British Matron, with a red-haired son, in
a green and black blazer, and a blue flannel nightcap, and a
bevy of rabbit-faced daughters, are patronising a tame German
Student in spectacles, who speaks a little English._

[Illustration: Mr. Cyrus K. Trotter discussing New York Hotels.]

_The British Matron_. Oh, you _ought_ to see London; it's our
capital--chief city, you know. Very grand--large--four million
inhabitants! [_With pride, as being in some way responsible for this._

_A Rabbit-faced Daughter_ (_with a simper_). Quite a little _world_!

[_She looks down her nose, as if in fear of having said
something a little too original._

_The Germ. Stud._ No, I haf not yet at London peen. Ven I vill pedder
Englisch learn, I go.

_The Blazer_. You read our English books, I suppose? DICKENS, you
know, and HOMER, eh? About the Trojan War--that's his _best_ work!

_The Stud._ (_Ollendorffically_). I haf not read DIGGINS; but I haf
read ze bapers by _Bigvig_. Zey are vary indereshtin, and gurious.

_A Patriotic Young Scot_ (_to an admiring Elderly Lady in a black
mushroom hat_). Eh, but we just made a pairrty and went up Auld
Drachenfels, and when we got to th' tope, we danced a richt gude Scots
reel, and sang, "_We're a' togither an' naebody by_." concluding--just
to show, ye'll understan', that we were loyal subjics--wi' "_God Save
th' Queen_." The peasants didna seem just to know what to mak' of us,
I prawmise ye!

_The Black Mushroom_. How I wish I'd been one of you!

_The Young Scot_ (_candidly_). I doot your legs would ha' stood such
wark.

[_PODBURY becomes restless, and picks his way among the
camp-stools to CULCHARD and Miss TROTTER._

_Podbury_ (_to himself_). Time _I_ had a look in, I think. (_Aloud._)
Well, Miss Trotter, what do you think of the Rhine, as far as you've
got?

_Miss T._ Well, I guess it's navigable, as far as _I've_ got.

_Podb._ No, but I mean to say--does it come up to the mark in the
scenery lin