e." Then I
cried out, "Lord, be my help, for I am in great distress." This was the
first prayer, if I may call it so, that I had made for many years. But I
return to my Journal.

_June 28._ Having been somewhat refreshed with the sleep I had had, and
the fit being entirely off, I got up; and though the fright and terror
of my dream was very great, yet I considered that the fit of the ague
would return again the next day, and now was my time to get something to
refresh and support myself when I should be ill. The first thing I did
was to fill a large square case-bottle with water; and set it upon my
table, in reach of my bed: and to take off the chill or aguish
disposition of the water, I put about a quarter of a pint of rum into
it, and mixed them together. Then I got me a piece of the goat's flesh,
and broiled it on the coals, but could eat very little. I walked about;
but was very weak, and withal very sad and heavy-hearted under a sense
of my miserable condition, dreading the return of my distemper the next
day. At night, I made my supper of three of the turtle's eggs; which I
roasted in the ashes, and ate, as we call it, in the shell: and this was
the first bit of meat I had ever asked God's blessing to, as I could
remember, in my whole life. After I had eaten, I tried to walk; but
found myself so weak, that I could hardly carry the gun (for I never
went out without that;) so I went but a little way, and sat down upon
the ground, looking out upon the sea, which was just before me, and very
calm and smooth. As I sat here, some such thoughts as these occurred to
me: What is this earth and sea, of which I have seen so much? Whence is
it produced? And what am I, and all the other creatures, wild and tame,
human and brutal? Whence are we? Surely, we are all made by some secret
power, who formed the earth and sea, the air and sky. And who is that?
Then it followed most naturally, It is God that has made all. Well, but
then, it came on strangely, if God has made all these things, he guides
and governs them all, and all things that concern them; for the power
that could make all things, must certainly have power to guide and
direct them: if so, nothing can happen in the great circuit of his
works, either without his knowledge or appointment.

And if nothing happens without his knowledge, he knows that I am here,
and am in this dreadful condition: and if nothing happens without his
appointment, he has appointed all this to