bolting Bubble-and-squeak, and not a jockey among them all had ever
heard of "puts" and "calls." Deuce a one of them know a "corner" from a
cockatrice's egg, and if you had mentioned a "scoop" to the most
intelligent of them, he'd have sworn that you had been and gone and
swallowed a Scandinavian dictionary. (N.B. In this application the nave
in Scandinavian might properly be spelt with a k.) Ah! yes, yes:
What-d'ye-call him was wide-awake when he remarked to Thingumbob that
"the world _does move_."

How strong the contrast to PUNCHINELLO as he glides, invisible, to and
fro among the bulls and bears on 'Change, observing the "modern
instances" of their improved manner of doing business, and taking all
their devices into the corner of his brightest eye! (The only safe
"corner" _he_ knows of on The Street.) How he chuckles as he observes
the ways of 'em--sees a bear selling that which he hasn't, and a bull
buying that which he doesn't want--all "on a margin" and to "settle
regular," of course. Bless you! children of the modern Mammon. Go in and
win, or lose if you find it more exciting. Learn to control finances, if
you would fain grow to be good men and contribute hereafter good men to
the taxable population. Proceed with your virtuous transactions on
'Change. Never mind each other's toes; they who have corns must not care
for being cornered. (Meant playfully.) Inflate the market with your
heavy purchases. Blow the market, and "corner the shorts." Be a "bear,"
if you will; and when you play at "bull," remember the frog in the
fable, who would be an ox, and went on inflating until he burst.

You bloated stockmonger there, with your hands in your pockets and your
eye on the mean chance, what care you how much capital is represented by
certificates issued? "That's played out," you say? You know it is, you
slimy salamander, and so does PUNCHINELLO. You know that by the use of
convertible bonds capital can be increased or diminished _ad infinitum_.
Loan your millions to Erie, to save it from destruction or the Sheriff,
(synonymous terms,) and you will derive sweet consolation from the
consciousness of your power to add or diminish at will.

Look at the "Great Waterer." When he chose to "snake away" Erie from its
friends, and make it tributary to New-York Central, the printing-press
was at work--a fact which he did not discover until he had paid out ten
millions. Then the foreigners purchased ream after ream of certificates