by PUNCHINELLO and his
troop of admirers, hereby enact:
Sec. 1. All the offices now provided by law with within the City and County
of New-York, shall be put in a grand grab-bag;
Sec. 2. It shall be the duty of the Commissioners of the Central Park to
devote said Park, on the Fourth day of July next, to the erection of
poles (or polls) for the purpose of enabling voters to grab from the
grab-bag.
Sec. 3. HORACE GREELEY, PETER COOPER, the Rev. Dr. THOMPSON, DANIEL DREW,
and REDDY THE BLACKSMITH, are hereby constituted Inspectors and
Canvassers for the grabbers.
Sec. 4. It shall be the duty of the said inspectors to prepare a
registry-list of all the persons intending to grab, who are required to
serve a notice of intention through the post-office upon REDDY THE
BLACKSMITH, the Chairman. DANIEL DREW is to provide funds wherewith to
pay the postage.
Sec. 5. The registry-list shall be alphabetically prepared, and the number
of chances shall be determined by dividing the number of grabbers by the
number of offices.
Sec. 6. The grabbers shall be selected by lot.
Sec. 7. The lots shall be drawn by REDDY THE BLACKSMITH from his own hat,
his eyes wide open, while every other inspector, and the voters, shall
be blindfolded with newspapers from the files of the _Christian Union_;
whereupon, as the names of the fortunate grabbers are called, each one
shall proceed to the grab-bag and grab his office.
Sec. 8. There shall be no repeaters of the process.
Sec. 9. The persons thus grabbing offices shall be then and there, by the
Inspectors, declared duly elected to the offices grabbed, for life.
Sec. 10. Any vacancy occurring by assassination shall be immediately filled
by the Inspectors appointing the assassin.
Sec. 11. Every person owning real estate on the Island shall contribute one
ninety-ninth part of his income to the said grab-bag. On the following
Christmas, in the presence of the grab income-bents of offices, the
Inspectors shall proceed to divide the proceeds of these taxable
contributions, and one half of these proceeds shall be equally divided
among the grab income-bents of offices. The other half shall be devoted
to paving every conceivable surface of the city with wooden pavement.
Sec. 12. Owners of real estate in the city of New York are hereby allowed
to make their own arrangements with the gas companies for the supply of
light; but nothing herein shall be construed to devote any part of the
p
|