plainly as face could say, "Sir, do you know that up to this
moment I have had a certain opinion of you, and that I begin to think I
have been mistaken or misled?" I not only know that she had heard evil
reports of me, but I know who told her--one of those acute fellows, my
dear brethren, of whom we spoke in a previous sermon, who has found me
out--found out actions which I never did, found out thoughts and sayings
which I never spoke, and judged me accordingly. Ah, my lad! have I found
YOU out? O risum teneatis. Perhaps the person I am accusing is no more
guilty than I.

How comes it that the evil which men say spreads so widely and lasts so
long, whilst our good, kind words don't seem somehow to take root and
bear blossom? Is it that in the stony hearts of mankind these pretty
flowers can't find a place to grow? Certain it is that scandal is good,
brisk talk, whereas praise of one's neighbor is by no means lively
hearing. An acquaintance grilled, scored, devilled, and served with
mustard and cayenne pepper, excites the appetite; whereas a slice of
cold friend with currant jelly is but a sickly, unrelishing meat.

Now, such being the case, my dear worthy Mrs. Candor, in whom I know
there are a hundred good and generous qualities: it being perfectly
clear that the good things which we say of our neighbors don't fructify,
but somehow perish in the ground where they are dropped, whilst the evil
words are wafted by all the winds of scandal, take root in all sods, and
flourish amazingly--seeing, I say, that this conversation does not give
us a fair chance, suppose we give up censoriousness altogether, and
decline uttering our opinions about Brown, Jones, and Robinson (and
Mesdames B., J., and R.) at all. We may be mistaken about every one of
them, as, please goodness, those anecdote-mongers against whom I have
uttered my meek protest have been mistaken about me. We need not go to
the extent of saying that Mrs. Manning was an amiable creature, much
misunderstood; and Jack Thurtell a gallant, unfortunate fellow, not
near so black as he was painted; but we will try and avoid personalities
altogether in talk, won't we? We will range the fields of science,
dear madam, and communicate to each other the pleasing results of our
studies. We will, if you please, examine the infinitesimal wonders of
nature through the microscope. We will cultivate entomology. We will sit
with our arms round each other's waists on the pons asinorum, a