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Project Gutenberg's The Grim Smile of the Five Towns, by Arnold Bennett This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: The Grim Smile of the Five Towns Author: Arnold Bennett Posting Date: September 11, 2009 [EBook #4734] Release Date: December, 2003 First Posted: March 10, 2002 Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRIM SMILE OF THE FIVE TOWNS *** Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al Haines. THE GRIM SMILE OF THE FIVE TOWNS ARNOLD BENNETT To my old and constant friend JOSEPH DAWSON a student profoundly versed in the human nature of the Five Towns CONTENTS The Lion's Share Baby's Bath The Silent Brothers The Nineteenth Hat Vera's First Christmas Adventure The Murder of the Mandarin Vera's Second Christmas Adventure The Burglary News of the Engagement Beginning the New Year From One Generation to Another The Death of Simon Fuge In a New Bottle THE LION'S SHARE I In the Five Towns the following history is related by those who know it as something side-splittingly funny--as one of the best jokes that ever occurred in a district devoted to jokes. And I, too, have hitherto regarded it as such. But upon my soul, now that I come to write it down, it strikes me as being, after all, a pretty grim tragedy. However, you shall judge, and laugh or cry as you please. It began in the little house of Mrs Carpole, up at Bleakridge, on the hill between Bursley and Hanbridge. Mrs Carpole was the second Mrs Carpole, and her husband was dead. She had a stepson, Horace, and a son of her own, Sidney. Horace is the hero, or the villain, of the history. On the day when the unfortunate affair began he was nineteen years old, and a model youth. Not only was he getting on in business, not only did he give half his evenings to the study of the chemistry of pottery and the other half to various secretaryships in connection with the Wesleyan Methodist Chapel and Sunday-school, not only did he save money, not only was he a comfort to his stepmother and a sort of uncle to
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