art the more naturally
on the stage. "Die!" replied the hero: "No, by G--! I know better things
than to incur the verdict of a Middlesex jury--I should look upon my
fencing-master to be an ignorant son of a b--h, if he had not taught me
to prick any of my antagonist's body that I please to disable." "Oho!"
cried Slyboot, "if that be the case, I have a favour to ask. You must
know I am employed to paint a Jesus on the cross; and my purpose is to
represent him at that point of time when the spear is thrust into his
side. Now I should be glad if you would, in my presence, pink some
impertinent fellow into convulsions, without endangering his life, that
I may have an opportunity of taking a good clever agony from nature: the
doctor will direct you where to enter and how far to go, but pray let it
be as near the left side as possible." Wagtail, who took this proposal
seriously, observed, that it would be a very difficult matter to
penetrate into the left side of the thorax without hurting the heart,
and in consequence killing the patient; but he believed it was possible
for a man of a very nice hand and exact knowledge of anatomy, to
wound the diaphragma somewhere about the skirts, which might induce
a singultus, without being attended with death: that he was ready to
demonstrate the insertion of that muscle to Mr. Bragwell; but desired to
have no concern with the experiment, which might essentially prejudice
his reputation, in case of a miscarriage. Bragwell was as much imposed
upon by the painter's waggery as the doctor, and declined engaging in
the affair, saying he held a very great regard for Mr. Slyboot, but
had laid it down as a maxim, never to fight except when his honour
was engaged. A thousand jokes of this kind were uttered; the wine
circulated, supper was served in, we ate heartily, returned to the
bottle, Bragwell became noisy and troublesome, Banter grew more and more
severe, Ranter rehearsed, Slyboot made faces at the whole company, I
sang French catches, and Chatter kissed me with great affection; while
the doctor, with a wofull countenance, sat silent like a disciple of
Pythagoras. At length, it was proposed by Bragwell, that we should scour
the hundreds, sweat the constable, maul the watch, and then reel soberly
to bed.

While we deliberated upon this expedition, the waiter came into the
room, and asked for Doctor Wagtail: when he understood he was present,
he told him there was a lady below to inquire for