a
proof of his friendship

In the morning, before I got up, Strap came into my chamber, and,
finding me awake, hemmed several times, scratched his head, cast his
eyes upon the ground, and, with a very foolish kind of simper upon his
face gave me to understand he had something to communicate. "By your
countenance," said I, "I expect to hear good tidings." "Indifferently,"
replied he, tittering, "that is, hereafter as it shall be. You must
know, I have some thoughts of altering my condition." "What!" cried I,
astonished, "a matrimonial scheme? O rare Strap! thou hast got the heels
of me at last." "N--no less, I assure you," said he, bursting into a
laugh of self-approbation: "a tallow chandler's widow that lives
hard by, has taken a liking to me, a fine jolly dame, as plump as a
partridge. She has a well-furnished house, a brisk trade, and a good
deal of the ready. I may have her for the asking. She told a friend of
mine, a brother footman, that she would take me out of a stinking clout.
But I refused to give my final answer, till I knew your opinion of the
matter." I congratulated Monsieur d'Estrapes upon his conquest,
and approved of the scheme, provided he could be assured of those
circumstances of her fortune; but advised him to do nothing rashly,
and give me an opportunity of seeing the lady before matters should be
brought to a conclusion. He assured me he would do nothing without
my consent and approbation, and that very morning, while I was at
breakfast, introduce his inamorata to my acquaintance. She was a
short thick woman, about the age of thirty-six, and had a particular
prominence of belly, which I perceived at first sight, not without some
suspicion of foul play. I desired her, however, to sit, and treated
her with a dish of tea; the discourse turning on the good qualities of
Strap, whom I represented as a prodigy of sobriety, industry and virtue.
When she took her leave, he followed her to the door, and returned
licking his lips, and asking if I did not think she was a luscious
creature. I made no mystery of my apprehension, but declared my
sentiments of her without reserve; at which he was not surprised,
telling me he had observed the same symptom, but was informed by his
friend that she was only livergrown and would in few months be as small
in the waist as ever. "Yes," said I, "a few weeks, I believe, will
do the business. In short, Strap, it is my opinion, that you are
egregiously imposed upon; and t