more than
five hundred. Mem--must get rid of Bag--no system at all.
"Jan. 3--Went to the theatre, to look for Gruff. Saw him sitting in a
side box, in the second tier, between a fat lady and a lean one. Quizzed
the whole party through an opera-glass, till I saw the fat lady blush
and whisper to G. Went round, then, into the box, and put my nose within
reach of his hand. Wouldn't pull it--no go. Blew it, and tried again--no
go. Sat down then, and winked at the lean lady, when I had the high
satisfaction of finding him lift me up by the nape of the neck, and
fling me over into the pit. Neck dislocated, and right leg capitally
splintered. Went home in high glee, drank a bottle of champagne, and
booked the young man for five thousand. Bag says it'll do.
"Feb. 15--Compromised the case of Mr. Snap. Amount entered in
Journal--fifty cents--which see.
"Feb. 16.--Cast by that ruffian, Gruff, who made me a present of
five dollars. Costs of suit, four dollars and twenty-five cents. Nett
profit,--see Journal,--seventy-five cents."
Now, here is a clear gain, in a very brief period, of no less than one
dollar and twenty-five cents--this is in the mere cases of Snap and
Gruff; and I solemnly assure the reader that these extracts are taken at
random from my Day-Book.
It's an old saying, and a true one, however, that money is nothing in
comparison with health. I found the exactions of the profession somewhat
too much for my delicate state of body; and, discovering, at last, that
I was knocked all out of shape, so that I didn't know very well what
to make of the matter, and so that my friends, when they met me in the
street, couldn't tell that I was Peter Proffit at all, it occurred to me
that the best expedient I could adopt was to alter my line of business.
I turned my attention, therefore, to Mud-Dabbling, and continued it for
some years.
The worst of this occupation is, that too many people take a fancy to
it, and the competition is in consequence excessive. Every ignoramus of
a fellow who finds that he hasn't brains in sufficient quantity to
make his way as a walking advertiser, or an eye-sore prig, or a
salt-and-batter man, thinks, of course, that he'll answer very well as
a dabbler of mud. But there never was entertained a more erroneous idea
than that it requires no brains to mud-dabble. Especially, there is
nothing to be made in this way without method. I did only a retail
business myself, but my old habits of syste
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