ead
the letter.

ALL. Do read it.

POSTMASTER [reads]. "I hasten to inform you, my dear friend, what
wonderful things have happened to me. On the way here an infantry
captain did me out of my last penny, so that the innkeeper here
wanted to send me to jail, when suddenly, thanks to my St. Petersburg
appearance and dress, the whole town took me for a governor-general. Now
I am staying at the governor's home. I am having a grand time and I am
flirting desperately with his wife and daughter. I only haven't decided
whom to begin with. I think with the mother first, because she seems
ready to accept all terms. You remember how hard up we were taking our
meals wherever we could without paying for them, and how once the pastry
cook grabbed me by the collar for having charged pies that I ate to the
king of England? Now it is quite different. They lend me all the money
I want. They are an awful lot of originals. You would split your sides
laughing at them. I know you write for the papers. Put them in your
literature. In the first place the Governor is as stupid as an old
horse--"

GOVERNOR. Impossible! That can't be in the letter.

POSTMASTER [showing the letter]. Read for yourself.

GOVERNOR [reads]. "As an old horse." Impossible! You put it in yourself.

POSTMASTER. How could I?

ARTEMY. Go on reading.

LUKA. Go on reading.

POSTMASTER [continuing to read]. "The Governor is as stupid as an old
horse--"

GOVERNOR. Oh, the devil! He's got to read it again. As if it weren't
there anyway.

POSTMASTER [continuing to read]. H'm, h'm--"an old horse. The Postmaster
is a good man, too." [Stops reading.] Well, here he's saying something
improper about me, too.

GOVERNOR. Go on--read the rest.

POSTMASTER. What for?

GOVERNOR. The deuce take it! Once we have begun to read it, we must read
it all.

ARTEMY. If you will allow me, I will read it. [Puts on his eye-glasses
and reads.] "The Postmaster is just like the porter Mikheyev in our
office, and the scoundrel must drink just as hard."

POSTMASTER [to the audience]. A bad boy! He ought to be given a licking.
That's all.

ARTEMY [continues to read]. "The Superintendent of Char-i-i--"
[Stammers.]

KOROBKIN. Why did you stop?

ARTEMY. The handwriting isn't clear. Besides, it's evident that he's a
blackguard.

KOROBKIN. Give it to me. I believe my eyesight is better.

ARTEMY [refusing to give up the letter]. No. This part can be omitted.
After that it's legible