the real
seamless coat that was taken from him at the Crucifixion and raffled
for by the Roman soldiers. No one but the second person of the Trinity,
unless it be the first or third person of that three-headed monstrosity,
is adequate to the settlement of this distracting quarrel. Even the
Papacy, which represents the Holy Trinity on earth, is at variance with
itself. Pope Leo favors Treves, and the wicked pilgrims who visit that
little old town are to obtain absolution, if they do not forget to "pray
for the extirpation of erroneous doctrines." Pope Pius, his predecessor,
however, favored Argenteuil. A portion of the Holy Coat treasured in
the church there was sent to him, and in return for the precious gift he
forwarded a well-blessed and marvellously-decorated wax taper, which is
still on show in a fine state of preservation.

When Popes differ, ordinary people, like pious Christians, and even
the editors of Freethought journals, may be excused if they hesitate to
commit themselves. One of these coats _may_ be the true one, though the
evidence is all against it, being in fact of such a shaky nature that it
would hardly suffice to substantiate a claim to a bunch of radishes. But
_both_ of them _cannot_ be authentic, and the problem is, which is the
very coat that Jesus wore? Now it is obvious that no one--barring his
two colleagues aforesaid--can possibly determine this question but
himself. His re-appearance on earth is therefore most desirable; nay,
it is absolutely necessary, unless a lot of people who would fain bow
before the cast-off clothes of their Redeemer are either to stay at home
in a state of dubiety or to incur the risk of kneeling before a
mouldy old rag that perchance belonged to a Moorish slave or a Syrian
water-carrier--in any case, to a dog of an infidel who spat at the very
name of Christ, for such raiment was never worn by the worshippers of
the Nazarene.

If Christ is coming to decide this great and grave problem, he will have
to make haste, for Argenteuil is already on the war-path. Its Holy Coat
is being exhibited before that of Treves, and thousands of pilgrims
are giving Number Two the preference. Presently the Treves relic will
attract its thousands, and the spectacle will be positively scandalous.
Two Richmonds in the field were nothing to two Christ's Coats, each
pretending to be the real article, and each blessed by a Pope. For the
sake of decency as well as truth, Christ should perempto