ad,--me feel heap swear."

He sat down very disconsolately, and the cats took immediate advantage
of the shining moment by rubbing and purring pleasantly round and
against their master's legs.

"Tell us about it then. We savvy, Sing."

"Oh,--my wifee--you know--she allee way live China. She make me angly.
My fliend in China he send me photoglaph Chinee girlie. Me want get
another wifee,--see!"

Sing handed over a picture of a typical country Chinese maid.

"Gee!--she's a fine looker,--isn't she, Phil?" exclaimed Jim with a
wink, handing it over for Phil to examine.

"You bet she is!" conceded Phil.

Sing did not seem to enthuse.

"Oh, may be! Not too bad! Not velly muchee good! She thirteen year
old. Her father he want me pay two hundled and fifty dollar for me
catch her. I no likee velly much. I catch another. See! That one, she
fourteen;--she cost four hundled dollar."

The second picture was that of a decidedly prettier girl with a much
more refined appearance than the first.

"Oh, she best. Sure thing!" said Jim.

"Yes,--she pletty good."

"You catch her, Sing?"

Sing shook his head ruefully.

"No!--I no catch her. Make me heap swear. I save up four hundled
dollar; I send allee money my wifee. I tell her buy that one for
me,--see!

"She send me letter. I get him to-day. She tell me she get money, but
she no buy other wifee for me. She buy house and ten acres land. Next
time I go China, I tell her 'Damn!'--see. I plenty heap swear."

"I think she was a darned good judge," remarked Phil, as he and Jim
laughed loudly.

But Ah Sing could not see the joke nor could he grasp wherein came his
wife's good wisdom.

"What l'matter, you laugh?" he said. "Chinaman first wifee, she
boss;--second wifee she do allee work. I catchee second wifee help my
first wifee--see!"

"Pshaw! That's all right for a bluff, Sing, but it won't go down,"
cried Phil. "Come on;--cheer up, and have a drink! This is Christmas
time."

"What you got?" asked Sing, brightening,--"Scotchee whisky?"

"No siree! This is none of your sheebeens," replied Phil.

"You catchem sam souey?" returned Sing, his voice high and piping.
"Sam souey pletty good."

"No sam souey,--you tough nut! Here!"

Phil handed the Chinaman a bottle of lemonade. Sing's face fell.

"Ah,--no good! He cleam soda."

"Well--what's the matter with it? I suppose you want something with a
kick in it."

"Kick? No savvy kick! Allee same, cleam soda you pulle