* * * * *

The same head-master once received the visit of a man who asked him
point-blank if the scholarship examinations were conducted honestly,
or, in other words, if the scholarships were given according to merit.

From the answer he received he deemed it expedient to beat a speedy
retreat.

* * * * *

When a school has to offer, say, six scholarships to the public, and
there are a hundred candidates applying for them, you may easily
imagine that it is difficult to persuade the parents of the ninety-four
boys who fail that the scholarships are given according to merit.

In distributing six scholarships among a hundred candidates you make
six ungrateful fathers and ninety-four discontented ones.

* * * * *

Whilst our school was being rebuilt in another part of the metropolis,
a loving mother called on the head-master in the City to intimate her
intention of placing her little boy in the school as soon as the new
building would be finished, and also to ask if she would be allowed to
see the room in which her dear child would be taught.

It was a great pity the building was not advanced enough at the time to
permit of her securing a corner for "her darling pet."

* * * * *

The mother to be most dreaded is the one whose husband has left her for
India, or some other warm climate. She is restless, inquisitive, and
never satisfied. Each remark you make to her son brings her on the
school premises for inquiries. She writes letter upon letter, pays
visit upon visit.

Once a week her son brings you a little note in the following style:

"Mrs. X. presents her compliments to Mr. So-and-so, and begs that her
son may be excused for not having prepared his lesson, as he had a bad
headache last night."

A husband may be a nuisance in a house, but when I was a school-master
I always thought he was a great improvement to it.

* * * * *

(_In the Examination Room._)

Sometimes parents send up their sons for scholarship examinations with
very little luggage.

I remember a dear little boy, between ten and eleven, who was a
candidate for one of our vacant scholarships.

On reaching the seat that was assigned to him, he was provided with the
Latin paper by the school secretary, and presented with half a ream of
be