his house:--

M. JOURDAIN. I have the greatest desire in the world to be learned;
and it vexes me more than I can tell, that my father and mother
did not make me learn thoroughly all the sciences when I was young.

PROFESSOR OF PHILOSOPHY. This is a praiseworthy feeling. _Nam sine
doctrina vita est quasi mortis imago._ You understand this, and you
have, no doubt, a knowledge of Latin?

M. JOUR. Yes; but act as if I had none. Explain to me the meaning
of it.

PROF. PHIL. The meaning of it is, that, without science, life is an
image of death.

M. JOUR. That Latin is quite right.

PROF. PHIL. Have you any principles, any rudiments, of science?

M. JOUR. Oh, yes! I can read and write.

PROP. PHIL. With what would you like to begin? Shall I teach you
logic?

M. JOUR. And what may this logic be?

PROF. PHIL. It is that which teaches us the three operations of the
mind.

M. JOUR. What are they--these three operations of the mind?

PROF. PHIL. The first, the second, and the third. The first is to
conceive well by means of universals; the second, to judge well by
means of categories; and the third, to draw a conclusion aright by
means of the figures Barbara, Celarent, Darii, Ferio, Baralipton,
etc.

M. JOUR. Pooh! what repulsive words! This logic does not by any
means suit me. Teach me something more enlivening.

PROF. PHIL. Will you learn moral philosophy?

M. JOUR. Moral philosophy?

PROF. PHIL. Yes.

M. JOUR. What does it say, this moral philosophy?

PROF. PHIL.It treats of happiness, teaches men to moderate their
passions, and--

M. JOUR. No, none of that. I am devilishly hot-tempered, and
morality, or no morality, I like to give full vent to my anger
whenever I have a mind to it.

PROF. PHIL. Would you like to learn physics?

M. JOUR. And what have physics to say for themselves?

PROF. PHIL. Physics are that science which explains the principles
of natural things and the properties of bodies; which discourses of
the nature of the elements, of metals, minerals, stones, plants,
and animals; which teaches us the cause of all the meteors, the
rainbow, the _ignis fatuus,_ comets, lightning, thunder,
thunderbolts, rain, snow, hail, and whirlwinds.

M. JOUR. There is too much hullabal