her estate, which adjoins
his own, but a very great deal for the extremely fine pigs which are
raised on it--a passion for pigs, which he prefers to men, constituting
his chief interest in life. Mr. Beastly, who says that he never goes to
law, no matter what losses he may suffer, no matter how much his
neighbors injure him, because he simply wrings the deficit out of his
peasants, and that ends it, declares that Sophia's pigs, for which he
expresses a "deadly longing," are so huge that "there is not one of them
which, stood up on its hind legs, would not be a whole head taller than
any one of us," is eager for the match. While this is under discussion
(Sophia being entirely ignorant of their intentions), the young girl
enters, and announces that she has received good news: her uncle, who
has been in Siberia for several years in quest of fortune, and is
supposed to be dead, has written to inform her of his speedy arrival.
Mrs. Simpleton takes the view that he is dead, ought to be dead; and
roughly tells Sophia that the latter need not try to frighten her into
giving her her liberty, and asserts that the letter must be from the
officer who has been in love with her, and whom she wishes to marry.
Sophia offers her the letter, in proof of innocence, saying, "Read it
yourself." "Read it myself!" cries Mrs. Simpleton; "no, madam, thank
God, I was not brought up in that way. I may receive letters, but I
always order some one else to read them," whereupon she orders her
husband to read it. Her husband gives it up as too difficult, and Mr.
Beastly, on being asked, replies, "I! I have never read anything since I
was born, my dear sister! God has delivered me from that boredom."
Pravdin (Mr. Upright), an official charged with inspecting the condition
of the peasants, also empowered to put under arrest cruel proprietors,
and under guardianship of the state those who have been ill-treated,
enters and reads the letter to them. When Mrs. Simpleton learns from it
that Uncle Starodum (Oldidea) has a large income, and that Sophia is to
inherit it, she immediately overwhelms Sophia with flattery and
affection, and decides to marry her to her precious "child," Mitrofan.
This leads to violent quarrels during the rest of the play between her
and her brother, who wants the pigs; and to violence from the latter to
Mitrofan, who declares that he has long wished to marry, and intends to
have Sophia. In the mean time a company of soldiers, on the m