much, indeed; and I have learned to feel sure that we had better--"
"Stop, Alice; stop a moment, love. Do not speak hurriedly. Shall I
tell you what I learned from your letter?"
"Yes; tell me, if you think it better that you should do so."
"Perhaps it may be better. I learned, love, that something had been
said or done during your journey,--or perhaps only something thought,
that had made you melancholy, and filled your mind for a while with
those unsubstantial and indefinable regrets for the past which we are
all apt to feel at certain moments of our life. There are few of us
who do not encounter, now and again, some of that irrational spirit
of sadness which, when over-indulged, drives men to madness and
self-destruction. I used to know well what it was before I knew you;
but since I have had the hope of having you in my house, I have
banished it utterly. In that I think I have been stronger than you.
Do not speak under the influence of that spirit till you have thought
whether you, too, cannot banish it."
"I have tried, and it will not be banished."
"Try again, Alice. It is a damned spirit, and belongs neither to
heaven nor to earth. Do not say to me the words that you were about
to say till you have wrestled with it manfully. I think I know what
those words were to be. If you love me, those words should not be
spoken. If you do not--"
"If I do not love you, I love no one upon earth."
"I believe it. I believe it as I believe in my own love for you. I
trust your love implicitly, Alice. I know that you love me. I think I
can read your mind. Tell me that I may return to Cambridgeshire, and
again plead my cause for an early marriage from thence. I will not
take such speech from you to mean more than it says!"
She sat quiet, looking at him--looking full into his face. She had in
nowise changed her mind, but after such words from him, she did not
know how to declare to him her resolution. There was something in his
manner that awed her,--and something also that softened her.
"Tell me," said he, "that I may see you again to-morrow morning in
our usual quiet, loving way, and that I may return home to-morrow
evening. Pronounce a yea to that speech from me, and I will ask for
nothing further."
"No; I cannot do so," she said. And the tone of her voice, as she
spoke, was different to any tone that he had heard before from her
mouth.
"Is that melancholy fiend too strong for you?" He smiled as he said
th
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