t; and it is not the few that do so, but the many. And there seems
no hope of a change for the better. Earth is no place for the great, the
good, the wise; but for the ignorant, the deluded, and the base alone.
It is the paradise of fools, and the purgatory of philosophers.

But I asked, "_Is_ infidelity true and good, and religion false and
mischievous? Am I not laboring under some monster delusion? Have I not
been imposed upon by a vicious logic? Are not mankind right in hating
and dreading infidelity, and in loving and honoring religion? There is a
tremendous mistake somewhere. Either infidelity is wrong, or mankind and
the universe are fearfully perverse."

7. And now I began a reconsideration of the claims of religion and
infidelity. As I have said, I re-read the Bible. I reviewed Church
history. I examined the character and workings of religious communities.
And I found the Bible a better and a wiser book than I had ever
imagined. And I found Christianity, as presented in the teachings and
life of Jesus, the fairest and loveliest, the most glorious and
beneficent of all systems. I found Jesus Himself to be the most
beautiful and exalted of all characters. I saw in Paul a dignity and a
glory second only to those of Christ. I found in the New Testament the
perfection of wisdom and beneficence. I found in the history of the
Church a record of the grandest movement, and of the most glorious and
beneficent reformation, the world had ever witnessed. I found in the
churches the mightiest agencies and the most manifold operations for the
salvation of mankind. "Christianity," said I, "whether supernatural or
not, is a wondrous power. It is good, if it is not true. It is glorious.
It _deserves_ to be Divine, whether it be so or not. What a world we
should have,--what a heaven on earth--if men could be brought to believe
its teachings, to imbibe its spirit, and to obey its precepts. What a
heaven of bliss it would be to one's soul if one could see it and feel
it to be really true."

It had conquered my heart. It had won my love. And I would gladly have
died, or would gladly have lived through ages of hardship and toil, to
be satisfied of its divinity. How glad I was when I found men heartily
believing it. How sad when I found them doubting, like myself. How
delighted I was when I found my objections to its truth slowly fading
away, and saw facts in its favor coming gradually into view.

But doubt had become a powerful tyr