ings in other hymns,
which formerly I did not understand or appreciate, or understood and
appreciated but very imperfectly, which now I understand more perfectly,
and prize more highly. And so with many things in the Bible.

30. And I have, at times, and have had for years, strange glimpses of
the magnificence and wondrousness of the universe; startling views of
the awful grandeur and movements of its huge orbs, and of the terrible
working of its great forces, and an overpowering sight and sense of the
presence and power of the living God in all, which I never had in my
earlier days. And I have often had, and still have, at times, strange
feelings of the fact and mystery of existence: of my own existence, and
of the existence of other beings, and of God.

31. And I have, at times, strange feelings with regard to the infinite
value of life and consciousness, and of my intellectual and moral
powers. And I have pleasant and wonderful thoughts and feelings with
regard to the lower animals, as the creatures of God, my Father; and as
manifestations of His goodness, and wisdom, and power; and as sharers
with me of an infinite Father's love. And I love them as I never loved
them in my earlier days. I feel happier in their company. I listen with
more pleasure to the songs of birds, and gaze with more delight on every
living thing. The earth and its inhabitants are new to me. The plants
and flowers are new. The universe is new. I am new to myself. All things
are new. It seems, at times, as if the new, enlarged, and higher life of
which I have become conscious through my strange experience, were worth
the fearful price which I have paid for it.

32. But then again I think of the time I spent in sin and folly,--of the
mischief I did in those dark days,--of the grief I caused to so many
good and godly souls,--of the sorrows I entailed on those most dear to
me, and of the terrible disadvantages under which I labor, and under
which I must always labor, in consequence of my unaccountable errors,
and I am confounded and dismayed. But then, on the other hand, I am
reminded that I did not sin wilfully,--that I did not err purposely or
wantonly,--that what I did amiss I did in ignorance,--that I verily
believed myself in the way of duty when I went astray,--that I was
influenced by a desire to know the truth,--that I believed myself, at
the outset, bound as a Christian, and as a creature of God, to use my
faculties to the utmost in searc