his
sermons had a salutary effect on my mind. His words about God and duty,
about Christ and immortality, fell on my soul at times like refreshing
dew. I also went to hear the Rev. Albert Barnes, and was both pleased
and surprised with the truth and excellence of many of his remarks. I
heard several other ministers; but the irrational and anti-christian
doctrines set forth by some of them, exerted an influence on my mind
which was the opposite of salutary.

At the end of two months I gave notice to my committee that I should
give up my situation as lecturer. I had come to the conclusion, that to
war with Christianity was not the way to promote the virtue and
happiness of mankind, and I told my congregation so. I added, that if we
were even sure that the sentiments entertained by Christians were
erroneous, it would be well to refrain from assailing them, till we had
something better to put in their place. And I also advised them, now
they were about to be left without a lecturer, to go to some place of
worship; and if they could not hear exactly what they could like, to
make the best of what they did hear, and by all means to live a
virtuous, honorable, and useful life. I gave similar advice to
congregations in other places, and by many it was well received.

When I gave up my situation in Philadelphia, my intention was to return
to England. I was anxious to free myself, as far as possible, from men
of extreme views, whether in religion or politics, and to place myself
in a position in which I should be perfectly free to pursue whatever
course a regard to truth and duty might require. I made up my mind,
therefore, that on my arrival in England, I would stand alone, apart
from all societies and public men, and have a paper of my own, and
publish from time to time whatever might commend itself to my judgment
as true and good. I knew I had changed during the last two years, though
I did not know how much; and I believed I was changing, though I could
not tell in what the change which was taking place would end. I had no
idea that I could ever become a Christian again, though the tendency of
the change which was taking place in me was in that direction.

Having taken leave of my friends, I hastened to Boston, and prepared for
my voyage across the deep. I was to sail by the Royal Mail Steamship
_Canada_, on the eleventh of January, 1860. Just as I was stepping on
board the packet, I received a letter from my youngest son. A