ptown, afraid
only that the park squirrels might club together to corner me. There are
corners in grain. Why not in--but let that pass.

I took the park wall in front of the great Mr. Carnegie's cottage at a
single bound. He stood on his terrace and shouted, "Police!" He was quite
logical.

The Equal Franchise Society was having a May party in the park near the
Harlem Mere. They had chosen the Honorable William Jennings Bryan as
Queen of the May. He wore low congress-gaiters and white socks; he was
walking under a canopy, crowned with paper flowers, his hair curled over
his coat collar, the tips of his fingers were suavely joined over his
abdomen.

The moment he caught sight of me he shouted, "Police!"

He was right. The cabinet lacked only me.

And I might have consented to tarry--might have allowed myself to be
apprehended for political purposes, had not a nobler, holier, more
imperative duty urged me northward still.

Though all Bloomingdale shouted, "Stop him!" and all Matteawan yelled,
"Police!" I should not have consented to pause. Even the quackitudinous
recognition spontaneously offered by the Metropolitan Museum had not been
sufficient to decoy me to my fellows.

I knew, of course, that I could find a sanctuary and a welcome in many
places--in almost any sectarian edifice, any club, any newspaper office,
any of the great publishers', any school, any museum; I knew that I would
be welcomed at Columbia University, at the annex to the Hall of Fame, in
the Bishop's Palace on Morningside Heights--there were many places all
ready to receive, understand and honour me.

For a sufficiently crippled intellect, for a still-born brain, for the
intellectually aborted, there is always a place on some editorial,
sectarian, or educational staff.

Try It!

But I had other ideas as I galloped northward. The voiceless summons of
the most jealous of mistresses was making siren music in my ears. That
coquettish jade, Science, was calling me by wireless, and I was
responding with both legs.

And so, at last, I arrived at the Bronx Park and dashed into the
Administration Building where everybody rose and cheered me to the echo.

I was at home at last, unterrified, undismayed, and ready again as always
to dedicate my life to the service of Truth and to every caprice and whim
of my immortal mistress, Science. But I don't want to marry her.

_Magna est veritas! Sed major et longinquo reverentia._

CONTENTS

The