en. And presently we detected the scarcely heard sound of
cautiously retreating footsteps down the corridor.

When it was safe to do so I arose and closed my door.

"I think," said I, with a sort of infernal cheerfulness in my tones,
"that we are about to do something jocose to Jane Bottomly."

"A few," said Professor Lezard. He rose and silently executed a
complicated ballet-step.

"I shall laff," said Dr. Fooss, earnestly, "und I shall laff, und I shall
laff--ach Gott how I shall laff my pally head off!"

I folded my arms and turned romanesquely toward the direction in which
Professor Bottomly had retreated.

"Viper!" I said. "The Bronx shall nourish you in its bosom no more! Fade
away, Ophidian!"

The sentiment was applauded by all. There chanced to be in my desk a
bottle marked: "That's all!" On the label somebody had written: "Do it
now!" We did.

III

It was given out at the Bronx that our field expedition to Baffin
Land was to be undertaken solely for the purpose of bringing back
living specimens of the five-spotted Arctic woodcock--_Philohela
quinquemaculata_--in order to add to our onomatology and our glossary
of onomatopoeia an ontogenesis of this important but hitherto unstudied
sub-species.

I trust I make myself clear. Scientific statements should be as clear as
the Spuyten Duyvil. _Sola in stagno salus!_

But two things immediately occurred which worried us; Professor Bottomly
sent us official notification that she approved our expedition to Baffin
Land, designated the steamer we were to take, and enclosed tickets. That
scared us. Then to add to our perplexity Professor Bottomly disappeared,
leaving Dr. Daisy Delmour in charge of her department during what she
announced might be "a somewhat prolonged absence on business."

And during the four feverish weeks of our pretended preparations for
Baffin Land not one word did we hear from Jane Bottomly, which caused us
painful inquietude as the hour approached for our departure.

Was this formidable woman actually intending to let us depart alone
for the Golden Glacier? Was she too lazy to rob us of the secretly
contemplated glory which we had pretended awaited us?

We had been so absolutely convinced that she would forbid our expedition,
pack us off elsewhere, and take charge herself of an exploring party to
Baffin Land, that, as the time for our leaving drew near we became first
uneasy, and then really alarmed.

It would be a dreadful