is like the torment of one
whose memory is confined wholly to his evil deeds!"
No one made any reply. The anguish of the man's speech made response
impossible.
"Before I did the deed," he continued, after a pause, "my memory took
knowledge of all sweet things; of all dear faces I have ever seen; of
all generous and blessed deeds I had ever done. But after that I could
remember but one thing,--the murderer; only one face,--the face of him I
killed, and all my life, and the glory of it, was thrown into black
eclipse by that one terrible act. Before I did the deed Nature was a joy
to me, but now in every star I see his countenance looking down upon me.
In every flower I see his still, cold face. The winds bear to me his
voice. The water of those rapids"--and the man stretched his hand out
towards the flowing river--"sounds to me like the rattle in his throat
as he lay dying. How shall I find release, old man? How quit myself of
this terrible curse?" and the man's words ended in a groan.
"The mercy of the Lord be great," replied the trapper; "greater than any
deed of guilt did by mortal; great enough to cover you, friend, and
your misdoin', as a mother covers the error of her child with her
forgiveness."
"I know the mercy of the Lord is great," answered the man, "I know His
forgiveness covers all; but the old law--old as the world, old as guilt
and justice--the law of life for life and blood for blood,--has never
been repealed. And this is the one comfort left for the noble: that
however great the guilt, however wicked the deed, the atonement can be
as great as the sin. He who dies pays all debts. He who has sent one to
the grave and goes to the grave voluntarily, goes into the arms of
mercy. I know not where else, with all his searching, man may surely
find it."
Again there was silence. Above, the stars shone warmly through the dusky
gloom. The rapids roared, falling hoarsely through the darkness. A
moaning ran along the pine-tops; the firelight flamed and flickered, and
the flames flashed the four faces into sight that were grouped around
the brands. At length the trapper said:
"What is it ye have in yer heart to do, friend?"
"I took a life," answered the man; "I must give one in return. I took a
life and my life is forfeited. This is my condemnation, and I pronounce
it on myself. My judge is not above; my judge is within. In this the
world finds protection, and in this the sinner finds release from sin.
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