British temperance reformers, whom it
describes as "uplifters." Immediately below this protest it produces a
picture from _Punch_, lifted without any acknowledgment of its origin.

* * * * *

"On Sunday one British pilot, flying at 1,000 ft., saw four
hostile craft at about 5,000 ft., and dived more than a mile
directly at them. As he whirled past the nearest machine he
opened fire, and saw the observer crumple up in the fusselage
as the pilot put the machine into a steep live."--_Dally
Sketch_.

While confessing ignorance as to the exact nature of a "live,"
we are sure it is not as steep as the rest of the story.

* * * * *

A MUSCULAR CHRISTIAN.

"Vicar, Compton Dando, Bristol, would Let two Fields, or few
Yearlings could run with him."--_Bristol Times and Mirror_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE PERSONAL EQUATION.

_Time 1940._

"WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE GREAT WAR, GRANDPA?" "WHAT DID I DO, MY LAD? I
HELPED TO RELIEVE MAFEKING."]

* * * * *

THE MUSINGS OF MARCUS MULL.

(_IN THE MANNER OF AN ILLUSTRIOUS MENTOR_.)

I.

I noted in last week's issue the persistence of the strange story that
Mr. GLADSTONE, in his wrath at his reduced majority in Midlothian,
broke chairs when the news arrived. I was careful to add that, as the
result of searching investigation, I was in a position to state that
Mr. GLADSTONE never did any such thing. Still I cannot altogether
regret having alluded to the story in view of the interesting letters
on the subject which have reached me from a number of esteemed
correspondents.

II.

As an eminent Dundonian divine, who wishes to remain anonymous,
remarks, it is a melancholy fact that men of genius have often been
prone to violent ebullitions of temper. He recalls the sad case of
MILTON, who, while he was dictating his _Areopagitica_, threw
an ink-horn at his daughter, "to the complete denigration of her
habiliments," as he himself described it. Yet MILTON was a man of
high character and replete with moral uplift. I remember that my old
master, Professor Cawker of Aberdeen, once told me that as a child
he was liable to fits of freakishness, in one of which he secreted
himself under the table during a dinner-party at his father's house
and sewed the dresses of the ladies together. The result, when they
rose to