red
that deliverance from this unreasonable Dragon is possible. We think it
more than likely that it is simply GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN practicing for
the next invasion of Great Britain. Nothing could be more harmless. One
Ku-Kluxian youth, armed with a double-barrelled shot-gun, four
bowie-knives, and a number of revolvers, could rout him instantly, and
even check the flow of his vociferous eloquence so suddenly as to put
him in imminent danger of asphyxia.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RETRIBUTION.

THE BOYS OF SAN FRANCISCO, EXASPERATED AT THE CONVERSION OF THEIR DOGS
INTO PIE, TIE KETTLES TO THE TAILS OF THE CHINAMEN.]

* * * * *

Giving the Cue.

"Is that one of your Chinese _belles_? asked Mr. PUNCHINELLO of Mr.
KOOPMAN-SCHOOP, as one of the newly-imported yallagals passed.

"Yes," replied Mr. K. "You can always tell a Chinese bell from a Chinese
gong by the bell-pull attached to it."

Mr. P. immediately presented his _chapeau_ to Mr. K.

* * * * *

HINTS FOR--THOSE WHO WILL TAKE THEM.

Mr. PUNCHINELLO: Your invaluable "Hints for the Family," published some
time since, seem destined to work a revolution in our domestic economy;
as the plans you propose must win the admiration of housekeepers by
their extreme simplicity, aside from any other motives to their
adoption. I have myself tested several of your methods, and find that
you speak from thorough and circumstantial knowledge of your subject In
bread-making, for instance, we find that when the cat reposes in the
dough, it (the dough) will not rise, though the cat does. But in the
clock manufacture, we fear you have divulged one of the secrets of the
trade.

Your little invention for carrying a thread should be recommended to
students and other isolated beings, notwithstanding their unaccountable
propensity to pierce other substances than the cloth. They would find
driving the needle through much facilitated by a skilful use of the
table formerly described.

Permit me to make a few additional suggestions.

Get some worsted and a pair of needles; set up from twenty to forty
stitches, more or less, and knit till you are tired. When finished--(the
knitting)--draw out the needles and bite off the thread. You will thus
have made an elegant lamp-mat, of the same color as the worsted, and the
very thing for a Christmas present to your grandmother.

This is a very gr