shape in my life; why, she must be
better descended than you have told me!
And so they run on for half an hour more in my praises, as I was told;
and glad was I, when I got out of the hearing of them.
But, it seems, they went down with such a story to my master, and so
full of me, that he had much ado to stand it; but as it was very little
to my reputation, I am sure I could take no pride in it; and I feared
it would make no better for me. This gives me another cause for wishing
myself out of this house.
This is Thursday morning, and next Thursday I hope to set out; for I
have finished my task, and my master is horrid cross! And I am vexed
his crossness affects me so. If ever he had any kindness towards me, I
believe he now hates me heartily.
Is it not strange, that love borders so much upon hate? But this wicked
love is not like the true virtuous love, to be sure: that and hatred
must be as far off, as light and darkness. And how must this hate have
been increased, if he had met with such a base compliance, after his
wicked will had been gratified.
Well, one may see by a little, what a great deal means. For if innocence
cannot attract common civility, what must guilt expect, when novelty
has ceased to have its charms, and changeableness had taken place of it?
Thus we read in Holy Writ, that wicked Amnon, when he had ruined poor
Tamar, hated her more than he ever loved her, and would have turned her
out of door.
How happy am I, to be turned out of door, with that sweet companion my
innocence!--O may that be always my companion! And while I presume not
upon my own strength, and am willing to avoid the tempter, I hope the
divine grace will assist me.
Forgive me, that I repeat in my letter part of my hourly prayer. I owe
every thing, next to God's goodness, to your piety and good examples, my
dear parents, my dear poor parents! I say that word with pleasure; for
your poverty is my pride, as your integrity shall be my imitation.
As soon as I have dined, I will put on my new clothes. I long to have
them on. I know I shall surprise Mrs. Jervis with them; for she shan't
see me till I am full dressed.--John is come back, and I'll soon send
you some of what I have written.--I find he is going early in the
morning; and so I'll close here, that I am
Your most dutiful DAUGHTER.
Don't lose your time in meeting me; because I am so uncertain. It is
hard if, some how or other, I
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