with its pouting lips, has an insupportable expression of stupid
good-nature and sentimentality; and the well-defined, protruding chin
might belong to the robber-captain Cartouche. The great wide-open eyes,
with their affected passionate glances, prove what a puffed-up dandy the
man must be, who perhaps imagines all the women in love with his face.
No, no, I am still of the opinion that the original could never please
me, and if the physiognomist Lavater should see it, he would say: 'That
is the portrait of a puffed-up, quaint, powerful genius, who imagines
himself something important, and who is nothing! The likeness of a
bombastic fellow, with an empty head behind the pretentious brow, and
meaningless phrases on the thick lips.'"

"If Lavater says so, he is a fool and an ass," cried Chodowiecki,
furiously, "and he can hide himself in the remotest corner of the
earth. Lichtenberg of Gottingen is quite right when he says that this
empty-headed Lavater has made himself ridiculous throughout Germany with
his wonderful physiognomy of dogs' tails and his profiles of unknown
pigtails. If Lavater is really so narrow-minded as not to be able to
distinguish a crow from an eagle, it is his own affair; but he shall
never presume to look at this portrait, and you, too, are not worthy,
you scorner, that I should get angry with you. The likeness is so
beautiful that Jupiter himself would be satisfied to have it imputed to
him. It is so like, that you need not pretend you do not know that it
represents Wolfgang Goethe. As you insult it, and regard it with scorn
and contempt, I will destroy it."

"For mercy's sake do not tear it," cried Goethe, springing toward
Chodowiecki, and holding him fast with a firm grasp. "My dear good man,
do not tear it; it would be like splitting my own head."

"Ah, ah!" shouted Chodowiecki, "you acknowledge the likeness?"

"I do acknowledge it, with joy."

"And will you admit that it is the head of a noble, talented poet, a
favorite of the Muses? Say yes, or I will tear it, and you will have
terrible pains in your head your life long!"

"Yes, yes! all that you wish. I am capable of saying the most flattering
things of myself to save this beautiful design. Give it to me, you
curious fellow!"

"No," said Chodowiecki, earnestly, "I will not give it to you. Such a
portrait is not made to be put in a dusty portfolio, or framed for the
boudoir of your lady-love. All Germany, all the world should enjoy it