it before, because
people don't really read your books, they only say they do, to keep
you from feeling bad. Next, excite the house with another spoonful
of Fultonian fact, then tranquilize them again with another barrel of
illustration. And so on and so on, all through the evening; and if you
are discreet and don't tell them the illustrations don't illustrate
anything, they won't notice it and I will send them home as
well-informed about Robert Fulton as I am myself. Don't be afraid; I
know all about audiences, they believe everything you say, except when
you are telling the truth.

Truly yours,
S. L. CLEMENS.

P.S. Mark all the advertisements "Private and Confidential," otherwise
the people will not read them.

M. T.

DEAR MR. CLEMENS,--How long shall you talk? I ask in order that we may
be able to say when carriages may be called.

Very Truly yours,
HUGH GORDON MILLER,
Secretary.

DEAR MR. MILLER,--I cannot say for sure. It is my custom to keep on
talking till I get the audience cowed. Sometimes it takes an hour and
fifteen minutes, sometimes I can do it in an hour.

Sincerely yours,
S. L. CLEMENS.

Mem. My charge is 2 boxes free. Not the choicest--sell the choicest, and
give me any 6-seat boxes you please.

S. L. C.

I want Fred Grant (in uniform) on the stage; also the rest of the
officials of the Association; also other distinguished people--all the
attractions we can get. Also, a seat for Mr. Albert Bigelow Paine, who
may be useful to me if he is near me and on the front.

S. L. C.

The seat chosen for the writer of these notes was to be at the front
of the stage in order that the lecturer might lean over now and then
and pretend to be asking information concerning Fulton. I was not
entirely happy in the thought of this showy honor, and breathed more
freely when this plan was abandoned and the part assigned to General
Grant.

The lecture was given in Carnegie Hall, which had been gayly
decorated for the occasion. The house was more than filled, and a
great sum of money was realized for the fund.

It was that s