pologies
made--sent away with a "free pardon!" And this is England! Ah, they
manage some things better in France!

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

[Illustration]

_House of Lords, Monday, August 15._--Some ordinary business on Agenda,
but importance dwarfed by imposing demonstration made by WEMYSS. Session
really coming to a close. WEMYSS has done his share of speech-making.
According to DENMAN has appropriated more than fair share. Nevertheless,
he finds in Mid-August quite an accumulation of odds and ends omitted
from speeches prepared during last two years. If he doesn't work them
off this Session will be out of date by next. That no insuperable
objection to delivering speech in House of Lords; still, freshness and
appropriateness not altogether without weight. How shall he dispose of
the accumulated treasure? Thought once of publishing it in single
Volume, call it "Jubilee Thoughts, by Earl of WEMYSS;" or "Peerless Wit
and Wisdom, by a Peer." Found publishers not anxious to undertake
proposal. Jubilee, they said, beginning to pall, too many books about of
Wit and Wisdom. Happy thought! Why not throw the scraps into form of
speech, and favour House of Lords with it? Some of the topics little
ancient and continuity of thought difficult to simulate; but propose to
"call attention to Socialistic legislation during the Sessions of 1886
and 1887." That will cover everything.

So arranged, and to-night, as soon as immaterial business disposed of,
WEMYSS rose, and began his speech. Audience of eighteen, to begin with.
Gradually diminished, till there remained, for fifth and final
peroration, only four. Was a tremendous speech--bloodcurdling,
convincing, and delivered with much animation. Never was a nation in
such peril. Before Great Britain lay only Black Night and Despair.

Might have been expected that, when WEMYSS sat down, there would have
been eager competition for precedence to take up the thread of debate so
solemnly launched. But he'd overdone it. So terrified the few Peers
present, that none could speak. Looked at each other with fitful,
fearful glances. One by one they rose, and tremblingly tottered out.
WEMYSS left in solitary possession of House, filled only with echoes of
his fearsome jeremiad. Thus closed this memorable one-speech debate.
LORD CHANCELLOR retaining presence of mind sufficient to adjourn the
House, WEMYSS pick