have been just a
trifle too small, and--ahem!--compressed your feet a little, _at the
joints_, m'Lord.

_Customer (aside)._ By Jove, he's right. G.'s tight fits have galled me
for some time past, and the last pair he made me I simply couldn't get
on. (_Aloud._) Hang it, man, what has that to do with it? Your business
is to fit my feet as they are. If you can't do it----

_Shoemaker (hastily)._ _Can't_, m'Lord? No such word in our shop,
m'Lord. I flatter myself we could fit the biggest beetle-crusher ever
bunion'd into the shape of a giant potato or a Californian nugget. Much
more _your_ shapely foot, m'Lord, which, if it has been nubblyfied a
leetle by misfits, will soon recover its proper proportions--under
proper treatment.

_Customer._ Well, off with this boot, anyhow. You'll have to make it
longer and wider, ease it here and slacken it there, before _I_ can wear
it.

_Shoemaker._ Very good, m'Lord. (_Aside._) Doosed imperative, but I
can't afford to offend him. Though I never expected an old-established
high-class firm like ours would have stooped to tout for any of botching
G.'s old customers. There's Mr. JOSEPH BRUMMAGEM, now, fancy my having
to kneel at _his_ feet, and take _his_ measure! More particular than
this one, if anything, and puts him up to half his objections, I
believe. Well, well, trade's bad, and we mustn't be too scrupulous, I
suppose. Besides, some of G.'s old customers seem drifting back to the
old shop we thought was just about shutting up, and that won't do at any
price.

_Customer (irritably)._ What are you muttering and murmuring about?

_Shoemaker._ Murmuring, m'Lord? Oh dear no, m'Lord. Not at all, m'Lord.
Quite _the_ contrary. I was only blessing that there G. for spoiling the
Trade as he has done. Brought us down from Wellingtons, and even his own
smartly cut Oxonians to borough Bluchers and rustic highlows; and now
wants to set a new fashion all on a sudden, and make us all take to his
confounded badly cut Irish brogues. Yah! Chaps like G. ought to be
boycotted--ahem!--I mean Primrose-Leagued out of the profession. Wonder
any gentleman can condescend to deal with him. Now, _my_ customers, as
your friend Mr. JOSEPH kindly acknowledged t'other day, are gentlemen to
a man, and for cut, style, finish and polish, I _will_ say----

_Customer._ Oh, yes, no doubt. But the point just at present, my good
fellow, is _fit_. If you miss that you miss all.

_Shoemaker (eagerly)._ Oh, have no