r it but to fall fast asleep, which I did with all
Speed. "Come," said he, "resolve upon it, we will make a Wedding at
the next Town: We will wake this pleasant Companion who is fallen
asleep, to be the Bride-man, and" (giving the Quaker a Clap on the
Knee) he concluded, "This sly Saint, who, I'll warrant understands
what's what as well as you or I, Widow, shall give the Bride as
Father." The Quaker, who happened to be a Man of Smartness, answered,
"Friend, I take it in good Part that thou hast given me the Authority
of a Father over this comely and virtuous Child; and I must assure
thee, that if I have the giving her, I shall not bestow her on thee.
Thy Mirth, Friend, savoureth of Folly: Thou art a Person of a light
Mind; thy Drum is a Type of thee, it soundeth because it is empty.
Verily, it is not from thy Fullness, but thy Emptiness, that thou hast
spoken this Day. Friend, Friend, we have hired this Coach in
Partnership with thee, to carry us to the great City; we cannot go any
other Way. This worthy Mother must hear thee if thou wilt needs utter
thy Follies; we cannot help it Friend, I say; if thou wilt, we must
hear thee: But if thou wert a Man of Understanding, thou wouldst not
take Advantage of thy couragious Countenance to abash us Children of
Peace. Thou art, thou sayest, a Soldier; give Quarter to us, who
cannot resist thee. Why didst thou fleer at our Friend, who feigned
himself asleep? he said nothing, but how dost thou know what he
containeth? If thou speakest improper things in the Hearing of this
virtuous young Virgin, consider it as an Outrage against a distressed
Person that cannot get from thee: To speak indiscreetly what we are
obliged to hear, by being hasped up with thee in this publick Vehicle,
is in some Degree assaulting on the high Road."

Here _Ephraim_ paused, and the Captain with an happy and uncommon
Impudence (which can be convicted and support it self at the same
time) crys, "Faith, Friend, I thank thee; I should have been a little
impertinent if thou hadst not reprimanded me. Come, thou art, I see, a
smoaky old Fellow, and I'll be very orderly the ensuing Part of the
Journey. I was going to give myself Airs, but Ladies I beg Pardon."

The Captain was so little out of Humour, and our Company was so far
from being sowered by this little Ruffle, that _Ephraim_ and he took a
particular Delight in being agreeable to each other for the future;
and assumed their different Provinces in the Cond