tsoever.

It is one of my misfortunes that I have never had sense enough to "keep
my counsel to myself." I have always had a habit of "thinking out
loud." And when I thus began to express myself, my position in the
Baptist Church began to grow "shaky," not to say precarious. Yet, I
still held rigidly to the doctrine that immersion alone was baptism,
and that with all its defects, the Baptist Church was the most
scriptural and orthodox in its doctrines and practices of any church in
existence.

The upshot of this whole matter was, that I was soon cited before my
"church conference" to answer a charge of heresy, in holding to the
doctrine of "open communion." I appeared and wanted to make a defense
of my position before the church. I was vain and silly enough at that
time to think if I could only make my argument before the church I
would be able to convert a majority of the members to my views, and
thus save myself and "reform" the church. But this I was not permitted
to do. I was told I might answer either "guilty" or "not guilty," and
no more. I refused to answer either way, unless I was further
permitted to explain my answer. This was denied me. Whereupon, a
motion was made to "withdraw fellowship from Brother Ashley"; and
without debate or further ceremony, the motion was put, four persons
voting Aye, and three, No, altho about forty members were present. And
thus I went out of the Baptist Church, whereby my education for the
ministry became automatically "finished," and all hope of my
ministerial career blasted.

Strange as it may seem there was a sort of personal satisfaction in
this. I had not entered the ministry as a pure matter of choice.
While I did not shrink from it, but rather took it up joyously, it was
because I felt it to be a duty divinely imposed upon me, and therefore
an honor of which I was proud; and because it was the means thru which
I might gratify my personal desire to be of some real use to God and
humanity, in saving souls from the eternal burning.

But now I felt that I had fulfilled my part as far as I possibly could,
and was denied the privilege of going further by the action of the
church; and that thereafter the church, and not I, was responsible for
any failure on my part to go on with the work of warning sinners to
"flee from the wrath to come." I was a little like Jonah fleeing to
Tarshish. I was rather secretly glad I had gotten away, and shifted
the responsibility