the Moorish tower, inform you that the one
spot in Europe where there is an indigenous colony of monkeys (the
patriarch of which is styled the "town major") is here, and enlighten
you as to the interesting fact that this is the only locality out of
Ireland where the Irish jaunting-car is to be objurgated. Mine be a
humbler task.

Society in Gib is select, but limited. It is uniform, like the clothes
of the influential portion of the inhabitants. Gib is the wrong place to
bring out a young lady, though Major Dalrymple's daughters, immortalized
in Lever's novel, could not well have found a better hunting-ground. But
then Major Dalrymple's daughters were regular garrison hacks--so the
irreverent subs of the Rovers used to call them--and never stood a
chance beside the daughters of the county families. There are racing and
chasing at the station, and theatricals and balls. I arrived at the
wrong season. The three days' local racing, for horses of every breed
but English, was over, and most of the men were going to Cadiz by
special boat next day, _en route_ for the Jerez races, which are the
best--indeed, I might almost say the solitary--meeting in Spain.

"There are only two things in this land worth talking about," said an
English merchant to me at Cadiz; "the steamers of Lopez and the races of
Jerez."

The hunting (thanks to brave old Admiral Fleming for having started that
diversion) was over too. The meets have to come off, naturally, outside
the frontier of British Spain. The sport is pretty good--one cannot
quite expect the Melton country, of course--the riding hard, and the
horses invariably Spanish; no English horses would do, for no English
horse would be equal to climbing up a perpendicular bank with sixteen
stone on his back, and that is a feat the native steeds, bestridden by
British warriors in pink who follow the Calpe pack, have sometimes to
accomplish. There is a Spanish lyrical and theatrical troop in the town;
but it is Holy Week, and lyricals and theatricals are under taboo.
Occasionally charity concerts are given by amateurs, and plays are even
performed in Lent Champagne, of the Fizzers, has won a reputation by his
success on the boards when he dons the habiliments of lovely woman
beyond a certain age. But, as I told you before, I arrived at the wrong
season. There are no balls at the Convent, which is the Governor's
residence; and, touching these balls, I have a grievance to ventilate,
at the reques