wanted--nor comedy--no, nor even passable melodrama. We sighed for
something of a more ethereal sort, and--laud we the gods!--the manna has
descended in showers. Go into any of the London theatres now, and the
following is your bill of fare. Fairies you have by scores in
flesh-coloured tights, spangles, and paucity of petticoats; gnomes of
every description, from the gigantic glittering diamond beetle, to the
grotesque and dusky tadpole. Epicene princes, whose taper limbs and
swelling busts are well worth the scrutiny of the opera-glass--dragons
vomiting at once red flames and witticisms about the fountains in
Trafalgar Square--Dan O'Connell figuring in the feathers of a Milesian
owl--and the Seven Champions of Christendom smoking cigars upon the
parapets of Hungerford Bridge! All these things have I seen, Bogle, yea,
and cheered them to the echo, in company with some thousand Cockneys,
all agape at the glitter of tinselled pasteboard, and the glories of the
Catharine-wheel. Such is the intellectual banquet which London, queen of
literature, presents to her fastidious children!

The form of dramatic composition now most in vogue is the burlesque; or,
in the language of the great Planche, "the original, grand, comic,
romantic, operatic, melo-dramatic, fairy extravaganza!" There is a title
for you, that would have put Polonius to the blush. I have invested some
three shillings in the purchase of several of these works, in order
that I might study at leisure the bold and brilliant wit, the elegant
language, and the ingenious metaphors which had entranced me when I
heard them uttered from the stage. I am now tolerably master of the
subject, and therefore beg leave, before condescending upon details, to
hand you a recipe for the concoction of one of these delectable dishes.
Take my advice, and make the experiment yourself. Red Riding-Hood, I
think, is still a virgin story; but, unless you make haste, she will be
snapped up, for they are rapidly exhausting the stores of the "_Contes
des Fees_." Alexander will probably give you something for it, or you
can try our old friend Miller at the Green. The process is shortly this.
Select a fairy tale, or a chapter from the Arabian Nights; write out the
_dramatis personae_, taking care that you have plenty of supernaturals,
genii, elves, gnomes, ghouls, or vampires, to make up a competent _corps
de ballet_; work out your dialogue in slipshod verse, with as much slang
repartee as you p