'Teeth
and complexion are to be considered later, but must be looked after
carefully. Every woman should bear in mind the fact that a good
complexion comes from the inside.'"

"The man what wrote that piece ain't got the slightest idea of what he's
talkin' about."

Grandmother transfixed Matilda with an icy stare. Then, turning to the
last page of the paper, she read, with due attention to emphasis: "'_The
Household Guardian_ is read every week in more than one million homes.
Averaging five people to each family, this means that five million
people, every Thursday, are eagerly watching for the regular issue of
_The Household Guardian_.' If he don't know what he's talkin' about, why
are five million people waitin' for the paper? Answer me that, Matilda
Starr, if you can!"

"There ain't five in every family," Matilda objected. "That means the Pa
and Ma and three children."

[Sidenote: Well Groomed]

"Maybe not. Maybe it's the Ma and Pa and two children and an Aunt or an
Uncle or some other of the family connection."

"Well, even if there's only two children, if their Ma is makin' 'em caps
to hold back their ears and pinchin' their noses regular, she ain't got
no time to have her own nose flattened out against the glass lookin' for
_The Household Guardian_."

"'If, however, through ignorance or the press of other occupations,'"
Grandmother resumed, clearing her throat, "'this early care has not been
given, every woman, no matter what her circumstances are, may at least
be well-groomed.'"

Matilda giggled hysterically.

"What's the matter now?" queried Grandmother, with interest.

"I was just thinkin' about the erect carriage and the groomin'. The man
what wrote that piece seems to think a woman is a horse. Reckon I'll get
myself a curry-comb."

"It might improve the looks of your hair some if you did," the old lady
observed, caustically. "'No woman is so poor that she cannot take the
time to attend to her personal appearance, nor so rich that she can
afford to neglect it. The hair should be shampooed at--Continued on page
sixty-seven.'"

"The hair should be what?"

"'Shampooed at least once a month.'"

[Sidenote: Face Massage]

"What's that?"

"Don't interrupt," commanded the old lady, with the dull red burning on
her withered cheeks. "Here I am readin' to you and tryin' to improve
your mind and all the time you're interruptin' me."

"Only to ask questions," Matilda returned, with affected submissio