"The latter, I trust were sufficiently vouched for in the letter from
our American Consul here. You can call on him if you choose. Few
ready-made aunts obtained by advertisement would have what I have to
recommend me. As for a Scotch accent, I've bought Burns, and a Crockett
in Tauchnitz, and by to-morrow I'll engage that no one--unless a
Scotsman--would know me from a Scotswoman. Hoot, awa', mon. Come ben."

"But--er--my aunt's rather by way of being a swell. She wouldn't be
found dead saying 'hoot, awa', 'or 'come ben.' There's just a little
indescribable burr-r----"

"Then I will have just a little indescribable burr-r. And you can buy me
a Tartan blouse and a Tam."

"I'm afraid a Tam wouldn't--wouldn't quite suit your style, or--or that
of any well-regulated aunt; and a well-regulated aunt is absolutely
essential to the situation. I----"

"_Do_ you mean to insinuate that I am not a well-regulated aunt?" There
was a rustling in the arbor. "Come, Tibe," the lady added in a firm
voice, "you and I will go away and leave this gentlemen to select from
all the other charming and eligible aunts who have no doubt answered his
quite conventional and much-to-be-desired advertisement."

"For heaven's sake, don't go!" cried the man, springing to his feet.
"There, your dog's got the duck. But it doesn't matter. Nobody else
worth speaking of--nobody in any way possible--has answered my
advertisement. I can't lose you. But, you see, I somehow fancied from
your letter that you were large and imposing, just what I wanted; and
you said you'd lately been in Scotland----"

"The accent was one of the few things I did _not_ wish to bring away
with me," sniffed the lady. "Under the table, Tibe; we're not going,
after all, for the moment. And as you _have_ the duck, you may as well
eat it."

"Good dog," groaned the stricken young man. If he had not, to the best
of my belief, been engaged in concocting a treacherous plot against one
whom I intended to protect, I could have pitied him.

Both sat down again. There was a pause while plates were changed, and
then the female plotter took up the running.

"I may be conceited," said she, "but my opinion is that you're very
lucky to get me. I may not be Scotch, and I may not be a 'swell,' but I
am--a lady."

"Oh--of course."

"What were the others like who answered your advertisement?"

"All Dutch, and spoke broken English, except one, who was German. She
wore a reform dress, hunched