e KING may stay, if he behaves,
When Labour rules.

Workers, in Downing Street installed,
Will never think of downing tools;
Strikes clearly never will be called
When Labour rules.

The hand of brotherhood that knits
At present Tom and Dick with Jules
Will be extended to good Fritz,
When Labour rules.

The vile capitalistic crew
Of human vampires, sharks and ghouls
Will vanish in the boundless blue
When Labour rules.

Our children will be standardized
In psycho-analytic schools,
And brains completely equalized
When Labour rules.

O Paradise! O frabjous day!
When 'neath the flag of flaming gules
Labour shall hold unchallenged sway--
When THOMAS rules.

* * * * *

[Illustration: FOLLOWING THE ENORMOUS SUCCESS OF _THE DAILY MAIL_
HAT--

--WE LOOK FORWARD ANXIOUSLY TO _THE TIMES_ CRAVAT--

--_THE TELEGRAPH_ COAT--

--_THE CHRONICLE_ QUILTED BAGS

--_THE HERALD_ PATENT SABOTS.

STUDY OF AN IMPARTIAL READER.

=MANNERS AND MODES.=]

* * * * *

=GENF AND THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS.=

"Genf," like "Geneve," is the Swiss for "Geneva." It was selected,
nearly two years ago, as the seat of the League of Nations. In a few
days the League arrives; and I doubt if any person, firm, company,
corporation or league, having provided itself with a seat, ever waited
so long before it came and sat upon it.

You will remember a learned treatise of mine in these pages on the
subject of Lucerne, written in August last, when our PRIME MINISTER
came and sat there. I make my living by writing up the towns of
Switzerland as one by one they get sat on. As there are not more
than half-a-dozen eligible towns in Switzerland, and as we shall have
exhausted two of them in less than half a year, the living I make is
a precarious one; in other words I shall soon be dead. Well, well! A
short life and a merry one, say I. You must admit a touch of subtle
merriment in that word "Genf."

To get to Geneva you provide yourself with a passport, a book of rail
and steamer tickets, a ticket for a seat in the Pulman car, a ticket
for a berth in the sleeping-car and a ticket for the registration of
your luggage. In short, by the time you are in France you will have
had pass through your hands one passport and eleven tickets; and the
first thing you will do upon settling down into th