Paper._

We do not know why this should be described as a "low figure." To us
it seems remarkably good going.

* * * * *

"The weather forecast for Sheffield and district for the next
twenty-four years is as follows:--

Wind southerly, light, freshening later; cloudy or overcast;
probably some rain later; visibility indifferent to fair;
mild."

_Yorkshire Paper._

It is hoped however that some improvement may be shown in 1945.

* * * * *

Puck's Record Eclipsed.

"For five minutes I was in the Mercantile Marine and the Navy.
During these five minutes I made a complete circuit of the
globe."--_Letter in Welsh Paper._

* * * * *

"The pruning-fork is being applied in order to bring the
staff within the capacity of the accommodation."--_Provincial
Paper._

After which harmony will be restored by means of the tuning-knife.

* * * * *

"It did one good, on entering the Queen's Hall last night, to
find every seat in the building, even to those at the back
of the rostrum, occupied by the London Symphony
Orchestra."--_Evening Paper._

An audience is often so distracting.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fortune-Teller (to client)._ "A DARK MAN HAS BEEN
HOVERING ABOUT YOUR PATH FOR THE LAST MONTH."

_Client._ "OH, THAT MUST BE THE AGENT WHO'S BEEN WORRYING ME TO INSURE
MY LIFE."]

* * * * *

=THE MOTHER-IN-LAW MYSTERY.=

In a provincial paper I find the following passage:--

"Counsel stated that the prisoner's mother was in court. Later
he informed the Judge that he had made a mistake; it was the
prisoner's mother-in-law. A general laugh throughout the court
followed this 'correction.'"

We have here in a nutshell the case for traditional communal humour,
and once again we are set to wondering why--except possibly to allay
some whimsical twinges of self-respect--dramatists ever try to
invent new jokes at all. Even more are we set to wondering why this
particular joke never fails.

In the present case the injustice done to an honourable class of
women--that is to say, those who provide lovers with their loves (for
that is how these relationships begin)--was the greater because no
doubt, when the laughter had subsided a little, every eye so