he last witness for the defendant had been permitted to leave the
stand Wiseman arose to address the court on behalf of the plaintiff. He
spoke in his own peculiar sledge-hammer style, sonorously striking the
anvil and ringing all the changes upon law, custom, precedent, and so
forth that always gave the children into the custody of the father. And
he ended by demanding that the children be at once delivered over to his
client.

He was followed by Berners, who had charge of the eloquence "business"
of that stage, and dealt in pathos, tears, white pocket handkerchiefs,
and poetical quotations. He drew a most heart-rending picture of the
broken-spirited husband and father, rejected by an unforgiving wife and
ill-conditioned children, becoming a friendless and houseless wanderer
over the wide world; in danger of being driven, by despair, to madness
and suicide! He compared the plaintiff to Byron, whose poetry he
liberally quoted. And he concluded by imploring the court, with tears
in his eyes, to intervene and save his unhappy client from the gulf of
perdition to which his implacable wife would drive him. And he sank down
in his seat utterly overwhelmed by his feelings and holding a drift of
white cambric to his face.

"Am I such an out-and-out monster, Mr. Worth?" whispered Mrs. Walsh, in
dismay.

Ishmael smiled.

"Everybody knows Berners--his 'madness' and 'suicide,' his 'gulf of
perdition' and his white cambric pocket-handkerchief are recognized
institutions. See! the judge is actually smiling over it."

Mr. Vivian arose to follow--he did up the genteel comedy; he kept on
hand a supply of "little jokes" gleaned from Joe Miller, current comic
literature, dinner tables, clubs, etc.--"little jokes" of which every
point in his discourse continually reminded him, though his hearers
could not always perceive the association of ideas. This gentleman was
very facetious over family jars, which reminded him of a "little joke,"
which he told; he was also very witty upon the subject of matrimonial
disputes in particular, which reminded him of another "little joke,"
which he also told; but most of all, he was amused at the caprice of
womankind, who very often rather liked to be compelled to do as they
pleased, which reminded him of a third "little joke." And if the court
should allow the defendant the exclusive possession of her children and
a separate maintenance, it was highly probable that she would not thank
them for their