ostentatious display. She was supposed to be an exceedingly beautiful
woman by some, by others a perfect Sycorax; in one breath Mr. Dimmidge
was a weak, uxorious spouse, wasting his substance on a creature who did
not care for him, and in another a maddened, distracted, henpecked man,
content to purchase peace and rest at any price. Certainly, never was
advertisement more effective in its publicity, or cheaper in proportion
to the circulation it commanded. It was copied throughout the whole
Pacific slope; mighty San Francisco papers described its size and
setting under the attractive headline, "How they Advertise a Wife in the
Mountains!" It reappeared in the Eastern journals, under the title of
"Whimsicalities of the Western Press." It was believed to have crossed
to England as a specimen of "Transatlantic Savagery." The real editor
of the "Clarion" awoke one morning, in San Francisco, to find his paper
famous. Its advertising columns were eagerly sought for; he at once
advanced the rates. People bought successive issues to gaze upon this
monumental record of extravagance. A singular idea, which, however,
brought further fortune to the paper, was advanced by an astute critic
at the Eureka Saloon. "My opinion, gentlemen, is that the whole blamed
thing is a bluff! There ain't no Mr. Dimmidge; there ain't no Mrs.
Dimmidge; there ain't no desertion! The whole rotten thing is an
ADVERTISEMENT o' suthin'! Ye'll find afore ye get through with it
that that there wife won't come back until that blamed husband buys
Somebody's Soap, or treats her to Somebody's particular Starch or Patent
Medicine! Ye jest watch and see!" The idea was startling, and seized
upon the mercantile mind. The principal merchant of the town, and
purveyor to the mining settlements beyond, appeared the next morning at
the office of the "Clarion." "Ye wouldn't mind puttin' this 'ad' in
a column alongside o' the Dimmidge one, would ye?" The young editor
glanced at it, and then, with a serpent-like sagacity, veiled, however,
by the suavity of the dove, pointed out that the original advertiser
might think it called his bona fides into question and withdraw his
advertisement. "But if we secured you by an offer of double the amount
per column?" urged the merchant. "That," responded the locum tenens,
"was for the actual editor and proprietor in San Francisco to determine.
He would telegraph." He did so. The response was, "Put it in." Whereupon
in the next issue, sid