ust as we came up to the
door he said:

"I thought your name was Evangeline; why did you say it was Clara Maria?"

"Because it is not!" I laughed over my shoulder, and ran into the house.

He stood on the steps, and if he had been one of the stable-boys he would
have scratched his head.

Now I must stop and dress. I shall put on a black tea-frock I have. Mr.
Carruthers shall see I have not caught frumpdom from my hosts.

_Night._

I do think men are the most horrid creatures--you can't believe what they
say or rely upon them for five minutes! Mrs. Carruthers was right; she
said, "Evangeline, remember, it is quite difficult enough to trust one's
self without trusting a man."

Such an afternoon I have had! That annoying feeling of waiting for
something all the time and nothing happening. For Mr. Carruthers did not
turn up, after all. How I wish I had not dressed and expected him!

He is probably saying to himself he is well out of the business, now I
have gone. I don't suppose he meant a word of his protestations to me.
Well, he need not worry. I had no intention of jumping down his throat;
only I would have been glad to see him, because he is human, and not like
any one here.

Of course, Lord Robert will be the same, and I shall probably never see
either of them again. How can Lord Robert get here when he does not know
Lady Katherine? No; it was just said to say something nice when I was
leaving, and he will be as horrid as Mr. Carruthers.

I am thankful, at least, that I did not tell Lady Katherine; I should have
felt such a goose. Oh! I do wonder what I shall do next. I don't know at
all how much things cost; perhaps three hundred a year is very poor. I am
sure my best frocks always were five or six hundred francs each, and I
dare say hotels run away with money. But for the moment I am rich, as Mr.
Barton kindly advanced some of my legacy to me; and, oh, I am going to see
life! and it is absurd to be sad! I shall go to bed, and forget how cross
I feel.

They are going to have a shoot here next week--pheasants. I wonder if they
will have a lot of old men. I have not heard all who are coming.

Lady Katherine said to me after dinner this evening that she was sorry, as
she was afraid it would be most awkward for me their having a party, on
account of my deep mourning, and I, if I felt it dreadfully, I need not
consider they would find me the le