, should be loafing
about so well dressed, my horse perhaps consuming the oats of some poor
man."

"That is morbid," Clodwig struck in with vehemence.

"I see it is now; but then it was different in the first stress of
feeling. The Crimean war broke out, and I asked for a furlough, in
order to become acquainted with actual war. My commander, Prince
Leonhard, at the rifle-practice, casually asked me which army I meant
to join; and before I could reply, he added, in a caustic tone, 'Would
you prefer to enlist with the light French or the heavy Englishman?' My
tongue was tied, and I perceived clearly my own want of a clear
understanding of my position. How mere a cipher was I, standing there
without any knowledge of myself or the world! My outer relations shared
in the total ruin of my inner being. Must I relate to you all these
petty annoyances? I deserved to have them, for there was in me nothing
but contradiction, and my whole life was one single great lie. A
uniform had been given me; I was not myself, and I was a poor soldier,
for I abandoned myself to the study of philosophy, and wished to solve
the riddle of life. I am of a peculiarly companionable, sympathetic
nature, and yet the continued life among my fellow-soldiers had become
an impossibility.

"I bore it two years, then asked for my discharge; which I received,
with the rank of Captain, out of respect to my parents, I think. I was
free, at last, and yet, as I said before, it saddened me to break away
from my life.

"I was free! It was strange to look out into the world and say. World,
what do you want of me? What must I do for you? Here are a thousand
employments; which shall I take? I was ready for anything. I had a fine
voice, and many people thought that I might become a professional
singer, and I received overtures to that effect. But my own inclination
led in a very different direction. An earnest longing possessed me to
make some sacrifice for my fellow-men. Had I been a devout believer, I
think I should have become a monk."

Clodwig opened his eyes and met Eric's beaming glance. After a short
pause, Clodwig nodded to Eric, then folded his arms again on his
breast, laid his head back, nodded again, and closed his eyes. Eric
continued:--

"When I first went through the streets in a civilian's dress, I felt as
if I were walking naked before the eyes of men, as one sometimes seems
to be in troubled dreams. In such a helpless, forlorn state of feelin