nk," says Villiam, with a ghastly smile, "that some of his
conscience is a-walking softly down my backbone, with a hop now and
then."

Alas! my boy, we all have consciences, save green grocers and
fashionable bootmakers; and who among us but has felt his conscience to
be at times almost totally disregarded, until it has finally brought
him to the scratch by turning to flee?

Scarcely was Fort Bledandide recovered by the valor of our arms when
the General of the Mackerel Brigade let fly the following

"GENERAL ORDER.

"The General Commanding announces to the Mackerels that the
Southern Confederacy has taken place. Also, that the unconquerable
Mackerel Brigade has taken place back again.

"Yesterday morning the Confederacy massed himself and succeeded,
through the unabated slumbers of the persons hired to sit up with
him, in obtaining Fort Bledandide.

"Prompt measures were taken by Captain Villiam Brown, Eskevire;
and, although an entire regiment fell in the assault, the work was
retaken.

"Two lessons can be learned from these operations: First, that the
notorious Southern Confederacy is now reduced to a mere shell; and,
secondly, that said shell has a very short fuse.

"THE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE.

("GREEN SEAL.")

I was still reading this pointed document, when there arrived, from
Paris, a Confederate being, in carpet slippers and white cotton gloves,
whose name was Lamb, and who bore peace-propositions.

"I have come," says he, affably, "to say, that the army of the North
can now be admitted into the army of the Confederacy for a conjoint
attack on combined Europe, after which the sunny South will forgive all
her creditors, and see what can be done for the Northern masses."

Let this frank speech prove, my boy, what all our excellent
democratic[6] morning journals of limited circulation have so long
maintained,--that it rests entirely with the President to secure an
immediate cessation of hostilities with the Southerners, by forgetting
all the wrongs of the past, while they are for getting all the rights
of the future.

Yours, pacifically,

ORPHEUS C. KERR.

[6] This letter was originally addressed to the editor of an
excellent little democratic weekly journal, who went carefully
over it and substituted the word "patriotic" for "democratic,"
whenever the latter occurred:--thereby achieving the most