Retrace, my boy, to the happy days of your youth, and you may remember
that I once described the ancient city of Paris as a house founded upon
a bar-room and surrounded by warlike settlements of Confederacies. Here
were collected all the lemons, glassware, sugar, spoons, and cloves of
the sunny South; and--though all else were lost--while these remained
to them, the Confederacies were still unbroken in spirits and only
spoke of Columbia to observe: "She may attack our chivalrous banner of
Stars and Bars, and capture all the stars if she pleases; but while our
Bars remain, we shall still be able to liquor." Therefore it is, that
the aged and aristocratic city of Paris has stubbornly brought to grief
so many of our admirable brass-buttoned generals, several of whom are
now enjoying that unblemished obscurity which ungrateful republics are
apt to bestow upon unappreciated greatness.

On the day succeeding the sanguinary affair of Fort Bledandide, my boy,
while notes of busy preparation were rising from all parts of the
Mackerel camp, one of our pickets was awakened by the sound of many
equestrians riding over his body, and immediately put on his spectacles
to discern whether they were friends or foes. The inspection lasted
until one skeleton charger had stepped upon his canteen; whereupon the
Mackerel picket discovered that the new-comers were the Anatomical
cavalry, under Captain Samyule Sa-mith, just returned from operations
in Confederate railway stock, which they had raised so far above par as
to give it a very decided mar.

Proudly rode Samyule at the head of his triumphant bone-works, and the
jingle of their spurs and sabres was like unto the collision of many
tin pans. Gayly rode they to headquarters, and, says Samyule, "Sire, we
have interrupted the railway travel of the Southern Confederacy for the
season; and obliterated the tracks of treason, that it may no longer
rail against us. Further depot-nent saith not."

The General of the Mackerel Brigade laid aside his accordion, and says
he:

"My sons, I would that every earthly foe to our distracted banner could
at this moment be placed on board a railway train in any part of this
country. Because, says the General, thoughtfully, "a ride on an
American railway train of cars is foreordained car-nage."

After this speech, my boy, it was generally allowed that the Mackerel
commander was even with Samyule; and as the Anatomical Cavalry swept
off to the left to fl