tty.

"Where is this custom house Tom has been telling me about?" he
asked, as soon as the hand shaking was over. "I want to have my
baggage examined. I have dutiable goods to declare. Who is the
inspector?"

[Illustration: "'I declare one collar'"]

"Laura is," said Kitty. "She is the slave of the grinding system
that fosters monopoly and treads under heel the poor people."

"All right," said Billy, "I declare one collar. I wish to bring one
collar into the bosom of this family. I have in this suit-case one
collar. I never travel without one extra collar. It is the
two-for-a-quarter kind, with a name like a sleeping car, and it has
been laundered twice, which brings it to the verge of ruin. How much
do I have to pay on the one collar?"

"Collars are a necessity," said Mrs. Fenelby, "and they pay ten
per--"

"What a notion!" exclaimed Kitty. "Collars are not a necessity.
Collars are an actual luxury, especially in warm weather. Many very
worthy men never wear a collar at all, and would not think of
wearing one in hot weather. They are like jewelry or--or something
of that sort. Collars certainly pay thirty per cent."

"I reserve the right to appeal," said Billy. "Those are the words of
an unjust judge. But how much do I take off the value of the collar
because two thirds of its life has been laundered away? How much is
one third of twelve and a half?"

"Now, that is pure nonsense," Kitty said, "and I sha'n't let poor,
dear little Bobberts be robbed in any such way. That collar cost
twelve and a half cents, and it has had two and a half cents spent
on it twice, so it is now a seventeen and a half cent collar, and
thirty per cent. of that is--is--"

"Oh, if you are going to rob me!" exclaimed Billy. "I don't care. I
can get along without a collar. I will bring out a sweater
to-morrow."

"Sweaters pay only ten per cent.," said Kitty sweetly. "What else
have you in your suit-case?"

"Air," said Billy. "Nothing but air. I didn't think I could afford
to bring anything else, and I will leave the collar out here. I
open the case--I take out the collar--I place it gently on the porch
railing--and I take the empty suit-case into the house. I pay no
duty at all, and that is what you get for being so grasping."

Mr. Fenelby shook his head.

"You can't do that, Billy," he said. "That puts the suit-case in
another class. It isn't a package for holding anything now, and it
isn't a necessity--because you can't need a