f was as silent as the tomb. Perhaps, if we
could find nothing else.... We began to wonder whether you could see
the mountains from the second floor.

At last a caretaker appeared, I whistled to Nobby, and we passed up a
short well-kept drive.

A moment later we had left the sunlight behind and had entered a huge
dim hall.

"Damp," said Berry instantly, sniffing the air. "Damp for a monkey. I
can smell the good red earth."

Daphne sniffed thoughtfully.

"I don't think so," she said. "When a house has been shut up like
this, it's bound to----"

"It's wonderful," said her husband, "what you can't smell when you
don't want to. Never mind. If you want to live over water, I don't
care. But don't say I didn't warn you. Besides, it'll save us money.
We can grow moss on the floors instead of carpets."

"It does smell damp," said Adele, "but there's central heating. See?"
She pointed to a huge radiator. "If that works as it should, it'll
make your carpets fade."

Berry shrugged his shoulders.

"I see what it is," he said. "You two girls have scented cupboards. I
never yet knew a woman who could resist cupboards. In a woman's eyes a
superfluity of cupboards can transform the most poisonous habitation
into a desirable residence. If you asked a woman what was the use of a
staircase, she'd say, 'To put cupboards under.'"

By now the shutters had been opened, and we were able to see about us.
As we were glancing round, the caretaker shuffled to a door beneath the
stairs.

"Here is a magnificent cupboard," she announced. "There are many
others."

As we passed through the house, we proved the truth of her words. I
have never seen so many cupboards to the square mile in all my life.

My wife and my sister strove to dissemble their delight. At length
Cousin Jill, however, spoke frankly enough.

"They really are beautiful. Think of the room they give. You'll be
able to put everything away."

Berry turned to me.

"Isn't it enough to induce a blood-clot? 'Beautiful.' Evil-smelling
recesses walled up with painted wood. Birthplaces of mice.
Impregnable hot-beds of vermin. And who wants to 'put everything
away'?"

"Hush," said I. "They can't help it. Besides---- Hullo! Here's
another bathroom."

"Without a bath," observed my brother-in-law. "How very convenient!
Of course, you're up much quicker, aren't you? I suppose the idea is
not to keep people waiting. Come along." We passed into a