ew himself face downward upon the floor. Somebody cried:
'Women and children first!' And, the supreme moment having arrived,
I--I had the brain-wave.

"I stepped to the case and, with most horrible oaths, flung my hat upon
the ground, smote upon the counter with my fist and started to rave
like a fanatic. I made the most awful scene. I roared out that it was
my box, and that it and its contents were irretrievably ruined.
Gradually curiosity displaced alarm, and people began to return. I
yelled and stamped more than ever. I denounced the French railways, I
demanded the station-master, I swore I'd have damages, I tore off the
cords, I lifted the lid, I alternately sneezed and raged, and, finally,
I took out my tunic and shook it savagely. In vain the excisemen
insisted that it was not their business. I cursed them bitterly,
jerked an ounce of pepper out of a pair of brogues, and replied that
they were responsible....

"It was after I had shaken my second pair of slacks that the officials,
with streaming eyes, began to beseech me to unpack the case no further.
If only they'd known, I didn't need much inducing. I could see the
shape of a cigarette-box under one of my shirts. Of course I argued a
bit, for the look of the thing, but eventually I allowed myself to be
persuaded and shoved the kit back. Finally they scrawled all over the
lid with pieces of chalk, and, vowing the most hideous vengeance and
invoking the British Ambassador, I stalked in the wake of my box out of
the station.

"I was through.

"I had my dinner in bed. I think I deserved it. Still, I suppose it
was indiscreet to have ordered lobster _a la Newburg_. I have slept
better. I _was_ sleeping better at half-past eight the next morning,
when a waiter entered to say that _there was an official to see me from
the Gare du Nord_....

"Believing it to be another dream, I turned over and shut my eyes. The
waiter approached and, touching me on the arm, repeated his ghastly
communication. With a frightful effort I explained that I had the ague
and could see nobody for some days. Mercifully he retired, and for a
little space I lay in a sort of trance. After a bit I began to wonder
what, in the name of Heaven, I was to do. I was afraid to get up, and
I was afraid to stay in bed. I was afraid to stop in the hotel, and I
was terrified of meeting the official downstairs. I was afraid to
leave the case there, and I was still more afraid to take