hat snarl of mine may end in a roar. By
Jove! if it does, the horse, boar-hound, and fellow with the whip, had
better look out for themselves, and that's all I have got to say about
it at present.

* * * * *

Illustration: ETYMOLOGY.

"HOW DO YOU DO, MY LITTLE MAN? I'M YOUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOUR, YOU KNOW!"

"WHAT'S A _NEIGHBOUR_?"

"WELL--_NEIGH_ MEANS _NIGH_; THAT IS, _NEAR_, AND----"

"OH, THANK YOU. I KNOW WHAT _BORE_ MEANS!"

* * * * *

Illustration: THE DIVORCE SHOP.

PRIVATE INQUIRY AGENT. "WANT A DIVORCE, SIR?--CERTAINLY! ANY EVIDENCE
YOU MAY REQUIRE READY AT THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE NOTICE!!"

THE DIVORCE SHOP.

"A NATION of Shopkeepers!" Well, that old jeer
May fall with small sting on an Englishman's ear,
For 'tis Commerce that keeps the world going.
But _this_ kind of Shop? By his _baton_ and hunch,
The thought of it sickens the spirit of _Punch_,
And sets his cheek angrily glowing.

The Philistines, Puritans, Podsnaps, and Prigs
Of Britain play up some preposterous rigs,
And tax e'en cosmopolite charity.
But here is a business that's not to be borne;
Its mead is the flail and the vial of scorn,
Not chaffing or Christmas hilarity.

The Skunk _not_ indigenous, Sirs, to our Isle?
The assertion might well bring a cynical smile
To the lips of a critical Yankee.
The vermin is here; he has set up a shop,
And seems doing a prosperous trade, which to stop
Demands more than mere law's hanky-panky.

Poor Law's tangled up in long coils of Red Tape,
She's the butt for each Jeremy Diddler's coarse jape,
Every filthy Paul Pry's ghoulish giggle.
JOHN BULL, my fine fellow, wake up, and determine
To stamp out the lives of the venomous vermin
Who round your home-hearth writhe and wriggle.

'Ware Snakes! No, _Punch_ begs the ophidian's pardon!
The slimiest slug in the filthiest garden
Is not so revolting as these are,
These ultra-reptilian rascals, who spy
Round our homes, and, for pay, would, with treacherous eye,
Find flaws in the wife e'en of CAESAR.

Find? Well, if unable to _find_ they will _make_.
No, the loathliest asp that e'er lurked in the brake
To spring on the passer unwary,
Was not such an _anguis in herba_ as this is,
Mean worm, which of all warning rattles and hisses
Is so calculatingly chary.

The Spy sets up Shop! And what has